Tom's Little Thoughts

"By Jeeves" Opening Night...

2010-10-13T09:31:00.003Z

Well I know I haven't been particularly good about updating on here over the last couple of months (there's a reason for this, but I'll get around to explaining some point soon) but it's time to let you all know that it's that last chance for you to get your tickets to come and see Purple Theatre's production of By Jeeves.

That's right, the last few days have been a flurry of getting into the theatre, building the set, tech rehearsals and then dress rehearsals, and tonight the curtain goes up on opening night.

Remember all you Londoners that the first night has concession tickets, and there should still be a few tickets left, so get on the phone this lunch time to get your seats booked. And the rest of you, it's time to get down here. Come on, it's London. It's easy to reach.

See you all tonight.

Purple Theatre Company Presents...

2010-09-11T14:47:00.004Z

Ladies and gentlemen, Purple Theatre Company presents, for your delectation:

Yep, there are all the details you will need to come and see our latest production which is, of course, being produced be yours truly. And stars me as well, as Sir Watkyn Bassett. Frankie is also in this one, as Madeline Bassett, his daughter. (That one's only slightly creepy).

But anyway, be aware that tickets are now on sale, and so you should all be racing to the phone to collect them as soon as possible, to avoid disappointment. Flyering began today at the Pinner Village Fete, so the rush may begin.

More details, of course, can be found at the website for Purple Theatre Company and The Compass Theatre, so you've no excuse not to be able to get hold of them.

See you all there.

Persistant Stalkers Are The Worst...

2010-08-14T09:01:00.003Z

Yesterday, looking randomly at the newspaper racks as some friends and I were picking up snacks at their local supermarket, I discovered the most redundant headline I've seen in a long time:

"TV Fiona and the Stalker Who Wouldn't Go Away!"

Reading that, you can't help but think that if she'd had one of those stalkers who would leave her alone if she asked nicely then her life would have been so much easier.

Fat/Thin/None of the Above...

2010-08-01T11:00:00.003Z

Browsing the news yesterday I happened to discover an article on the BBC (BBC News Magazine: Does Christina Hendricks has a body women should aspire to?) discussing comments made by Equalities Minister Lynne Featherstone, where she used the actress Christina Hendricks as an example of the body shape that healthy women that should aspire to.

Now at first I read this in a related article, and was immediately struck by thoughts that this was just incredibly condescending to women in general. It's fair enough that the modern fashion to be slim can be damaging; that the “ideal' image of the impossibly tall, slender framed models in magazines are photoshopped to impossibility; and that in the past a completely different shape was the fashion; but claiming that curvy, fuller figured women were the ideal was just as bad. Telling naturally thin women that they should be aspiring to an hourglass figure they can never achieve is just as bad as the other way around.

I sat down and I wrote the first draft of this post on my lunch break, happily ranting about the government jumping on bandwagons, trying to grab the attention of woman with lowest-common-denominator policies, etc. etc. But when I got home and typed it up I spent a moment on the internet looking into what they actually said, In actuality what Lynne Featherstone said was part of an interview in The Times, promoting an Anti-Airbrushing campaign she's involved in. I don't know any clear details of this campaign, but I'm all for ridding our world of unrealistic images of beauty. (I would link her blog here, but when I went to get the links it appear that here website it down. Oh well, I'll try to remember in the future.) Her use of Christina Hendricks as an example came from the fact that since staring in the TV series Mad Men, Hendricks has become a fashion icon and is often listed in various 'Sexiest Women in the World' lists across the magazine world, which is atypical for a woman with a buxom, hourglass figure.

I won't say “womanly” hourglass figure, or “healthy” hourglass figure. While these are qualifiers that you often hear use when describing bigger woman, it always seems to me as if they are used in retaliation against all those women who are naturally skinny, as if they have done it on purpose. Without wanting to sound nasty, adding qualifiers like that to any aspect of a woman's appearance only indicates that the user is asserting that to be the opposite of the “womanly” figure, in this case skinny, is to be wrong. If they can't have it, nobody should. It's a offensive use of the term, normally used by someone who considers body shape important enough to resent someone for it. I'm trying very hard to describe the body shape in question without using words such as “larger” or “fuller”, as I know some people would take that as insulting, and I shouldn't be worried about that as I know full well people shouldn't take offense at their physical size.

But now the whole thing has been jumped on, either by those agreeing with the small section of the article they're read and extolling the virtues of the larger woman, or attacking Mrs. Featherstone's views on behalf of skinny women everywhere. But the whole thing comes down to the unfortunate obsession people have with appearance. Fashion is a terrible thing to follow, as it constantly changes and so no one can ever match up to it's expectations for more than a moment. If you look at the front of the hack-rag celebrity magazines you will notice that one week they will be highlighting how certain celebrities have piled on the pounds, and then the next there will be photos of the exact same people but extolling the fact they managed to lose so much weight, it's ridiculous.

The basic fact of the matter that when you get right down to it, your appearance is dictated by how you were born to look. Let's look at Miss Hendricks shall we. She is a very attractive woman; a curvacious redhead with a 'classic' hourglass figure. It's clear why women with the same body shape would want to emulate her 'look' and, when made to feel bad that they do not look like the latest model/actress pinup who stares at them from the front covers on the magazine racks, hold her up as a counter focus. But do you know why she looks like that? Her genes. She was born with a large bust and hips and a slim waist which gives her those curves, and then she has been made the focus of a fashion craze but the production department of the TV series. If a woman her size and shape was desperate to have the figure of, as a random example, Kate Moss, this would be unhealthy as it would involve her starving herself in an attempt to reach a size and shape which her body is just not built to achieve. But equally if Kate Moss wanted to look like Christina Hendricks she would never achieve it, as she has a completely different body shape and metabolism.

So if the essence of what Lynne Featherstone's Anti-Airbrushing campaign is to rid our media of images that have been altered to perfection, so that the images we are driven to strive to are not impossible goals, then all speed to it. But the real solution is to encourage people to stop accepting what they are told is the ideal look. The vicious cycle of wanting to emulate what it “fashionable” is fed by our encouraging said media by enforcing it. Be happy with how your body. If you live healthy it doesn't matter where we're chubby or skinny. Once you have come to accept what you look the you can work out what look works with you. As long as you're physical healthy and eat well, then you'll probably feel happy about yourself. Oh, and stop buying fashion magazines.

Not Their Job...

2010-07-25T19:50:00.002Z

I know it shouldn't, but reading this makes me proud that I came from the area this happened.

BBC News: Hampshire workman paint white lines around dead badger

The Pub...

2010-06-28T08:09:00.002Z

I really felt manly this weekend. It was a Saturday evening, I was in the pub, pint in my hand, standing in a crowd of people, all looking up at the big TV screen and watching the same programme and cheering it on.

I've now been told that it isn't as manly unless you're watching sport of some kind, rather than Doctor Who as we were.

I don't understand why I'd want to watch football. At least Doctor Who wins.

The Megapode...

2010-05-16T09:37:00.002Z

Ho! The Megapode!
Megapode, Ho!

The Megapode, a king of beasts,
Is honoured by the lesser Podes,
Who gladly bring it scrumptious feasts
With plates of gull and stag and toads.
For, besides it's Ho-ish nature
(It always seeks out wanton pleasures)
The Megapode is rather large
And rightly therefore placed in charge
Of all the Podes. But do not fear
At all throughout this coming year
This tyrant's reign
As for it, ruling's such a pain,
And Ho! The Megapode will go
To such extremes, so all will know
It can't be arsed to scream and shout.
So folk can be what they're about,
And Megapode develops gout.
And all it's power comes to nowt.
Oh Ho! The stupid Megapode, Ho!

Written for the birthday of Andi Tucker (The title, of course, stolen from a line in Terry Pratchett's Unseen Academicals.)

That was "Too Clever By Half"...

2010-05-10T13:00:00.004Z

It's been a week since we finished, and I finally have the time to talk about how the show went. I would have done so sooner, but the last week has just been hell and I've needed to spend my evenings relaxing by doing as little as possible, rather than looking at another computer screen, so it's taken me a while.

And it went very well as it goes. The final dress and tech rehearsals over the weekend were relatively painless. I personally found them a lot less dull than previous tech runs, but I think that is simply down to the fact that in playing the main role I was involved for most things, so didn't have the opportunity. In the whole play there were very few times I wasn't on stage or waiting to go on stage, so I was not forced to endure hours of sitting in the the green room waiting to be needed, as I have often in the past.

The show itself was great fun. Having never had a main part in a show before it was fun to one be involved all through the play and two, or be able to play with a single character in such depth. Playing random odd characters is fun, but it's a totally different experience getting to sink your teeth into something properly. Add to that the fact that he was an evil bastard and great fun to play and I was havung great fun from start to finish.

My highlights; my separate scenes with Tim and Rez, simply for the huge amount of fun it was playing off the two of them. With Tim is was just a wonderful moment of slow burning comedy. I was pleased with myself on opening night when I decided to drag out a certain bit longer than I had done in rehearsals, as it worked perfectly. Some nights better than others, but all audiences are different. With Rez it was just huge fun over acting against each other, two characters with an infallible belief in their own greatness. And of course you could not fail to mention a scene which ended with me hitting my wife over the head with a chair. I'm hoping that looked convincing. Stage violence can look so fake if you're not careful. I did have wonderful images of having a break away chair that would shatter on impact, but there as limits to an amateur theatre company budget.

I'm going to really miss this show. It's the first Purple show since A Slice Of Saturday Night that I could quite happily have continued doing indefinitely, rather than the usual feeling of looking forward to having my evenings and weekends back, despite how much I might be enjoying the show.

Plus we passed the break even point, and so made a profit. Win. See you all at By Jeeves.

Tonight, We Open...

2010-04-28T08:14:00.002Z

Opening Night for Too Clever By Half is tonight, so I hope you've all got your tickets sorted.

Last night's dress rehearsal went well. This one the whole is a good thing, but then there is always the old saying that a bad dress means a good opening night. So I could either come up with a list of the small things that didn't work last night, or just slate that saying doing to making everyone feel better after a terrible dress rehearsal.

(Note: Saying that now does not prevent me from using that saying in the event of future dress rehearsals going badly.)

Remember, tickets are on sale direct from the Compass Theatre, and the full details are on the Purple Theatre website, but here are the details in brief:

28th April (tonight) to 1st May (this Saturday) 2010
7:30pm
Tickets: £12.50 (£10.50 cons. and opening night)

Let's Break The System...

2010-04-19T08:33:00.003Z

A two party political system is an inherently corrupt system, as once the two parties are established it is in their interests to keep all "third parties" down to maintain their own chances of power. They may fight between each other, but they always know that eventually things will swing around to them again. They don't have to try, just exist. Have a look at America. The only people who will ever run that country are the Republican Party and the Democratic Party. If you're not a member of that select group you have no chance. So, as much as any Americans will deny it, the country is ruled by a self selected ruling class.

Looking at our own political system, also built around a Government Vs Official Opposition basis, the fact that there is a chance, however small of a third party having an almost equal footing, breaking that two horse race, gives me hope. Isn't it worth voting Lib Dem even if you don't count yourself as a liberal, even if the only difference you feel they can make it shattering this ridiculous two choice system and bringing about a necessary change in our parliamentary system?

Because despite the fact that during this current General Election it's the fashion to harp on about change, we know full well that both Labour and the Torys are aware that is in their best interests to keep the system exactly as it is, and they will both fight any and all changes to the electoral system or Parliamentary procedures. That's why they hark on about a Hung Parliament as if it's a bad thing. It's not a bad thing, it's simply different to the way it traditionally done, where one party can force through a decision. (And that's what I want, for my elected MP to be forced to vote a certain way by his unelected party officials)

A quick fact: a hung parliament is not automatically a situation where nothing gets done and no decisions can get made. This only happens if the politicians refuse to cooperate on principle. Which they will, as they will want to scare people back to the old ways where they have no fear of losing their power.

Election Debate Summery...

2010-04-16T08:27:00.003Z

I nearly forgot about the election debate, only remembering about it as I put on the radio to make a late dinner after swimming, but I'm glad I caught it. Even Frankie got into it, after I said I'd put it on the TV for five minutes while we ate waiting for something else to come on. Here is my quick summery for those who missed it:

David Cameron: I'm Tory, and that will make you feel safe because I want to do things the old way (I deserve to be handed the election in the same way I've been handed everything else in my privileged life, which is the essence of being a Tory)

Gordon Brown: I'm going to do things exactly the same as I'm doing now. Stop worrying about change and leave me alone.

Nick Clegg: You guys all realise that it isn't an option between these two or no one else don't you? The sooner you realise a third party vote actually matters than we can actually do something about all the stuff everyone has been bitching about all year.

Which is pretty much a nutshell summery of the election campaign. Most people won't care about exact policies (with exceptions) as 90% of social movement will be exactly the same whoever is in charge. It's a useful tool that they've summarised it for everyone.

I personally think that Nick Clegg clearly came out on top, but after seeing on Facebook how a number of people think Cameron did really well when to me he came across as uncomfortable debating (he literally repeated things Nick Clegg had said word for word at one point) and throwing out rehearsed buzz words (when he argued against immigration by saying "a black man who immigrated to Britain when he was 6" did like current policy I could have wet myself laughing) I wonder how much peoples opinions of who "won" the debate rest on who they supported going in. Is this going to change anything, or is this just for show?

Power To The Digital People...

2010-04-08T20:30:00.000Z

Well it surely makes sense that passing a Bill through parliament regarding something as important and changing to society as the internet needs to be rushed through the Commons in a couple of weeks in the traditional desperate rush to get legislation through before the current parliament is dissolved. It's not like these are issues regarding changes in the entertainment industry that need to be debated and thought through for their consequences, rather than patched over as a favour for the multimillion dollar companies that have a vested interest in keeping the system the way it was, where they had full control of music distribution.

But I cannot say I'm one of the few people in the country who've actually read the Bill, so I have to count myself amongst those who are thoroughly against the idea of the Bill, and what it represents. I know people who have far more detailed knowledge of the facts, people who are actually photographers or work in the industry, or just care more about the issue. I just know enough to know the whole thing, as it currently stands, is a band aid over the problems that are faced that is designed to placate the industry heads.

I am against copyright infringement. I know people who rely on copyright of their intellectual property to make their living. Copyright law is one of the most important law in any capitalist society, as intellectual property is a marketable resource. What is causing so many issues is that the very nature of copyright laws are being forced to change; it's not a gradual shift what the laws have to cover, but a complete and sudden shift in what they were designed to protect. I subscribe to the opinion that illegal file sharing over the internet, or at least the sheer scale of it, is a consequence of the industry ignoring this change, ignoring what the what the “Internet 2.0” gave us; instant and free (to a degree) communication. Music lovers worked it out first, and sorted out the methods and cultures of file-sharing, as we know them now, amongst themselves before the record companies would even admit that they were going to have to change their ways; and once they tried to put a stop to it it was too late.

The internet is the single greatest and most important development of recent time simply because it is the great democratiser; it allows everyone to connect and share in a way no one could before. All intellectual property can be digitised and shared equally, and the basic problem this causes it that this goes against the thread of capitalist ideals that our society, for good or ill, is based upon. I'm not going to go off on a rant about the pros and cons of the free market, because like it or not that is the society we live in, but if you wanted to be idealistic about it, could we not consider that the internet could be the first step in changing that? As there is now a practical way of sharing almost all knowledge for free, then is that not the first step in freeing that knowledge from those who make an industry from control the intellectual property of others to make a personal profit from it?

I'm not saying there is no place in the future or record companies, film companies or publishers, but their role in the industry is going to change. In the future the situation of the few on the top balancing the status quo amongst themselves to keep the smaller rivals down will not be so easy to maintain.

And so, while I would have liked to be very knowledgeable and go into detail about these clumsy, and ultimately futile, attempts to curb the internet in the favour of a system that has had to face becoming almost instantly obsolete, you're going to have to simply make do with this: an opinionated rant on the nature of the relationship of the internet and copyright law, which I'm sure you've all heard before. Just be aware, this is an issue that isn't going to be dealt and forgotten by the time the election comes around.

Chocolates and Herbs...

2010-04-03T12:43:00.001Z

Well happy four day weekend, sorry, I mean Easter, everybody. Remember that any and all chocolate that comes in egg form doesn't count until Tuesday, so keep eating those calorie free ovoids.

Normally over this weekend we'd be off at the Dragons Faction Easter event, but this year due to the timing of other events in the year (and other stuff I'm sure any non-LRPers would find as boring as coal) they're not holding one, so Frankie and I actually get to spend the holiday relaxing at home together and getting stuff done, rather than exhausting ourselves running around a field and sleeping in a tent.

So what am I going to do with my free time? I've decided to get into the spirit of being a married man and do some gardening. Of course, living in a flat with a lack of it's own garden could cause issues with this plan, but last weekend we went to Sion House garden centre and bought some pots to use on a balcony, along with a bag of compost, and I'm in the process of putting my herbs back outside.

They've done quite well these herbs. Frankie bought them for me as a selection of seeds in a little growing kit last Christmas, and they grew very well over the spring and when we moved here last year we put them on the balcony, and they continued to grow, and get used, throughout the summer. They've been living on the windowsill in the kitchen over the winter to avoid the worst of the cold, and now they're getting potted in proper pots and balcony boxes.

A couple of them look like them haven't quite survived. I think I was picking from them a little too much over the time when they weren't growing as much; the thyme has gone completely I think. The mint also looks a lot worse for wear, but from what I know of mint if there is the smallest spark of green it'll be uncontrollable in short order. I've planet them both in hope, and over the next couple of weeks we'll see if they can hold onto life.

I'm hoping that the plants settle nicely out there, as I've now got the long term plan of buying a few more window boxes and the plants to put in them so that when the good weather comes we can sit out on the balcony in the garden chairs we got as wedding gifts and enjoy the smell of the flowers and herbs, rather than the exhaust from the road outside. Then I can at least pretend to have my own garden.

Coming Up From Purple Theatre...

2010-03-28T19:45:00.004Z

I've just got back from rehearsals, and it occurs to me that I have yet to begin advertising the latest show being put on by Purple Theatre. So, as it's is now one month until the show I feel it is really time to start letting you all know about...

Too Clever By Half
by Edgar Harrison

A dark, mystery comedy set in the world of H.P. Lovecraft's fiction, with elements of Arther Conan Doyle, '60s spy television shows and many English detective novels. For those of you unfamiliar with Lovecraft's work, it's a world of gothic horror, where the Great Old Ones, ancient, horrific creatures that ruled the world before mankind was born, are constantly attempting to find a way back to our world, aided by strange creatures and ancient, diabolic cults.

The play itself is set over a few months in 1939 and tells the tale of the ancient Curse of the Cardingtons, an old family with strong ties to the Old Gods. According to legend, many generations ago Sir Hugo Cardington created a blood drinking teapot to aid in summoning the Old Gods back into the world; a teapot that has taken the lives of the all the eldest males of the family ever since. Now, when the mysterious death of Sir Charles Cardington leaves his nephew Henry as the last living descendant, we join a series of amateur sleuths, as they look into the mysteries behind the family legend.

The play is in four parts, each one set in a different time and a different place telling a different part of the story as the mystery unfolds. None of the characters are exactly how they seem, but all of them are affected in some way by the dark curse and the forces behind it.

Well that's the shpeel. I'm looking forward to this show. I've managed to get the role of Sir Henry, which is essentially the closest thing to a lead role the play has, so I'm feeling smug about that. The annoying this is with the way the plot moves around between the four parts I can't say too much about the character without giving things away that the audience shouldn't know about until they see the play. This is annoying as I want to boast about the fun I'm having with him. Hopefully over the next few weeks I'll find creative ways of doing so without giving anything away.

Tickets are on sale now, direct from the Compass Theatre, and the full details are on the Purple Theatre website, but here are the details in full:

28th April to 1st May 2010
7:30pm
Tickets: £12.50 (£10.50 cons. and opening night)

The Yellow Frog Of Lateness...

2010-03-24T19:24:00.000Z

Dear God! It's been just over two months since I've actually got anything posted up on here. That's rubbish, and I apologise.

Unfortunately February was a grey, dark, miserable month that sapped from me any and all all motivation to do anything, and I just couldn't draw together the energy to type anything, even on those days when I could think up an idea. March has been a lot better, but by then I was out of the routine of putting something up regularly and I just haven't got around to it.

Well no more! I shall get off my arse and get things back up here, and to start myself off, have a little piece of nonsense.

Bright Yellow Frog

There once was a bright yellow frog
Who decided to live in a bog
He built houses of twigs
And feasted on figs
And was always more happy than not.

93% Of You Won't Care About This Post...

2010-01-21T09:10:00.002Z

What the hell is it with this spate of posts on Facebook on LJ letting us to post certain comments which instruct others to post the same comments if we care about telling us that "93%" of people will ignore this, leaving on 7% of us who will be "good people" and post about the same thing, there by showing that they care more than the other, heartless 93% of us.

Not that I'm belittling these , which are usually very worhty of our attention, or those who seek to draw attention to them, but where the hell did this figure of 93% ignore-ation (it's a word, look it up) come from? Has there actually been a study conducted that showed that only 7% of people care enough to spend a couple of minutes of their time drawing attention to these things? Or was it a different study that discovered only 7% of people think writing this down will make any difference, or that they have the time to wasting doing so?

Or is it just a number somebody made up to try to poke at our middle class guilt, which is now just copied and pasted, willy nilly, into Web 2.0?

Congraulations...

2010-01-10T14:34:00.004Z

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs James and Chrisa Dickson-Leach

Married Saturday 9th January, 2010

Our photos from the big day can be found here if anyone is interested

Feeling The Time Of Year...

2009-12-17T21:35:00.004Z

This is the view from the front door of our flat.

This is the view from out window.

I'm feeling Christmasy now. Bring on the holidays.

The Eternal Quandary...

2009-12-15T09:15:00.001Z

I have many things I need to get done at home. I would like these to be done, as I also have lots of things that I would like to do when I get home. While I would much rather do the things I would like to do, rather than those things I need to do, I know that if I do all those things I would like to do then, time being finite, I will run out of time to do those things I need to do, meaning I will reach the point where I needed to have them done by and they won't be done. Therefore, due to the aforementioned finite nature of time, I know that do get things I need done, you know, done, I will have to do the things I need done done before I can do the things I'd like to get done. But unfortunately this means that it is most likely that the remaining time I do have left to get anything done will have run out by the time I get the things I need done done, leaving me no time to get to do the things I would like to get done.

All in all I find myself in part wishing I'd had the time to get the things I need to get done done before now. But although I'll admit some of them need to be done now because I did some of the things I wanted to get done when I could have been doing things that I needed to be doing, the truth is there were other things that, back then, that I also needed to get done, and in getting them done I left myself with less time to to do the things I wanted to do, which in turn increased the amount of time I had to wait to do these things, which only increases the amount that I want to do them.

You all see my problem?

Where There's No Smoke...

2009-12-01T09:02:00.005Z

Last Friday was my office Christmas party. This means that I was out on a Friday night in a bar/club in central London. I enjoyed myself and all that, but one of the best points of the evening was the morning after, when to woke up to find that my clothes and hair did not stink of tobacco smoke, necessitating the immediate washing of myself and everything I had touched since leaving the club to prevent the nauseating odour permeating the entire flat. Nor was my throat raw from being forced to spend the evening inhaling an entire buildings worth of smokers second hand smoke.

If the Labour government is remembered fondly for nothing else (and at the moment it looks like this is quite possible) it should always be remember that, if nothing else, they got rid of smoking in public places. And it's easy to forget how much of an improvement on most people lives that was.

All Hail The Anaesthetic...

2009-11-18T20:44:00.000Z

I went to the dentist for the first time in years last week, and this week I had to go back to get a filling replaced. Not a new filling, I hasten to add, as I'm proud of the fact that despite the fact I never got my teeth checked since leaving home, I was looking after them. But apparently after ten years or so fillings can come away from the tooth, leaving a tiny gap that decay can get through, and so they have to be drilled out and redone. And I did not know this, so at least my experience has left me a more knowledgeable and well rounded human being, as well as a new filling.

As I lay there in the dentists chair, listening to the unnecessarily terrifying sound of the drill and watching flecks of white from my old, defective filling fly up into my vision as he drilled it out, I found myself pondering about the history of medical anaesthetics. I remember clearly studying medicine in history lessons at school, from the earliest days of nitrous oxide and chloroform, but I don't think I ever truly understood the wonder and marvel that is the discovery and development of the drugs that shield us from pain.

For you see, I am a big southern wuss. I don't like pain, especially acute pain. Acute pain such as my teeth being drilled out of my head. As it was I needed two lots of the anaesthetic to numb me completely, as half way through when the dentist got to my actual tooth I felt a sharp stabbing pain. And while yes, the second dose gave me a massive adrenaline rush which nearly make me throw up, I still think that feeling was preferable to having a small piece of sharp, rapidly rotating metal bore it's way into my jaw.

And of course it isn't just the immediate problem of the physical pain, but they allow so many medical procedures that would be otherwise impossible, as the pain and shock of the huge phyical trauma that the body goes through in surgery would kill us.

So I take this moment to thank all those who, through the history of modern medicine, have played a part in developing the techniques and drugs to make it so that a big wuss like me has to feel as little physical pain as possible.

Dentists...

2009-11-14T19:29:00.000Z

Dentists are a funny breed.
They look in mouths, as if to read
The future in our teeth and gums
To see all that we would become.

I wonder if they only drill
To change a future they see will
Come to pass and do us ill.

As if some dental intervention
Can save us all from base intention.

Wedding Photos...

2009-11-03T21:22:00.002Z

The official wedding photos are up, for anyone who may be interested. Go to:

www.brianfoster-smith.co.uk/WEBZONES/Francesca&Thomas (with the password: Brand)

An Elusive Definition...

2009-10-27T18:47:00.002Z

Passion? Tenderness? Comfort? Trust? Commitment? Understanding? Wise men will say that without all these things, and more, you will not have love. Still wiser men will say that even with all these things and more, love is no more guaranteed for you than affection.

For what is love if not indefinable? If not wonderfully inexplicable, complex, mysterious and illogical? A cacophony of feelings, senses and emotions that no man or woman could ever hope to rationalise with mere words.

Many will seek to know love, to find and understand it, but each shall come to understand that love is felt more than known, experienced more than sought, and lived, not explained. Exceeding and beyond all understanding. We may search for love, but in the end it seems that we can never see it coming. Usually you just realise one day that it is there.

So I care not for what love is, only that it is. That it is with us, for the rest of our days. To grow and feel, until we have that understanding that is, as always, truly more than words.

This is the reading I wrote for our wedding; the one I wrote originally and thought it was the most appalling dross. I'm actually quite happy with it now, but that may be due to the fact that everything said and done during the wedding made me insanely happy, and now this poem will always make me think back to that day, and the emotional memories that entails.

The Cold Is Slowly Seeping In...

2009-10-21T08:12:00.002Z

Well, it's got to the point where we've got the heating on for the mornings now, just to aid us in dragging ourselves out of bed in the mornings. It doesn't seem like more than a couple of weeks they we were lying on the beach in the sun. This isn't fair.

But of course the annoying thing is that it's still autumn, meaning that it's freezing in the mornings, but if you wrap up really warm, by the mid afternoon it could be quite warm, meaning you boil on the way home from work. Roll on winter.

I'm Now One Of Mr. And Mrs. Brand...

2009-10-18T16:26:00.004Z

I'm back from the honeymoon, all happily married. I meant to write up something sooner, having been back two weeks, but washing and tidying up after ourselves and getting back into the routine after two weeks away takes longer than you expect it to.

The day itself was amazing, and couldn't have gone smoother. Andi, my best man, and I got there at noon, in plenty of time to have lunch and meet up with my family who all seemed to arrive then as well. And also, of course, we had plenty of time to stand around posing and looking good, as we are wont to do on occasion.

I didn't really feel nervous in the build up, but I was definitely excited. Frankie, of course, looked absolutely stunning as she arrived. It was funny though, as the doors opened and everyone turned around expecting to see her and there was an audible “Aww” as Saskia and Lauren walked down side by side as the cutest flowergirls ever. I think my grin stayed fixed through the entire thing, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

After that the whole thing seemed to go like a blur. After a short half hour boat trip down the river and back, which is a wonderful idea as it gave us at least a short time to be alone, it seemed like the day was over in about two hours. I'm sure I remember weddings I've been to in the past have been a lot longer, with plenty of time to sit around a chat to everyone. As it was I think I managed to get a chance to chat to everyone who was there, at least for a short while.

The one point I was slightly nervous about was the speeches. I opened my speech with a joke about having forgotten to write a speech, and therefore pretending I was going to have to wing it, and following this choice of opening by taking out a pocketful of notes and reading them would have ruined the joke, so I wanted to go for as long as I could before I had to resort to a script. Even up to the night before I couldn't remember it to any degree, and on the morning I totally forgot to go over it one last time, suddenly realising on the drive to the venue that I really should have. But obviously the adrenaline, combined with my natural showmanship and intuitive professionalism, kicked my brain into gear and I managed the whole thing off by heart, short of checking once to make sure I hadn't forgotten to thank anyone. Afterwards I actually had people asking me if I had really ad-libbed the whole thing, which I'm guessing either means it went very well, or just sounded so bad that I must have been making it up. I think I'll go with the first one. Apparently I also managed to impress a few members of my family who I haven't really seen much of recently, who still remember me as a quiet teenager would refused to talk to anyone.

The other creative highpoint for me was having people come up and compliment the reading I had written especially for the wedding. I was quite pleased with it myself, and I'll put it up on here at some point, but it's odd because when I originally wrote it I remember thinking it was terrible; both clichéd and rambling, but when I went back to read it again in the week running up to the wedding it seemed much better with fresh eyes, and seemed to fit perfectly, even the typo I'd made but didn't notice until Pablo read it out, which actually changed one of the sentences for the better.

I'm still currently in the process of collecting photos of everyone so I can build up an album to put up on my website. So far only two people have found all their photos destroyed (one corrupted memory card, and one faulty film) but I'm slowly making the collect. I will put a link up here once I've finished and got them all together. I'll also post more about the honeymoon soon, once I've got all the photos from that sorted an uploaded as well. Keep checking my fotopic site for updates as they go up.

The Nun...

2009-10-06T19:57:00.002Z

I saw a nun, all alone,
When I visited Rome.
She must have got out
Whilst the Pope wasn't home.

T Minus 5 Hours...

2009-09-19T07:42:00.003Z

On the evening on January 6th 2007 I proposed to Frankie Grillo.

Today, at 2pm, I am going to marry her.

Doesn't time fly. It feels both an eternity ago, yet also only yesterday she said "Yes", and suddenly she's on the verge of saying "I Do" as well.

Time to go and get dressed.

Committing To Commitment...

2009-09-17T19:40:00.001Z

I am quite excited about the concept of being married. I know some people would find this strange, rather that they would say I should be more excited about the wedding as an event than the marriage itself. When by big sister got returned from her honeymoon, for example, I'm told she immediately started complaining that she missed being a Bride and that now all she was was somebody's wife.

But I love the idea of such a strong commitment. We've been asked more than once what, if any, actual difference there will be in our relationship once we're married. We already live together, we have a joint bank account, all that sort of thing. The only real difference, in a physical sense will be our legal status. But I love the idea of marriage, of the sense of commitment to another person that it entails. I have been described by a friend once as “a serial monogamist”, which I thought was a great phrase. I've never been the sort of person who went around having random flings here, there and everywhere, and I've plans, or wish, to have them in the future.

I've not a complete idealist, and I am fully aware that just because we'll be married that from the wedding day onwards everything in our lives will be all buttercups and rainbows. I've known marriages that haven't lasted, because we have to be realistic and realise that some people just are not meant to be together forever. But I truly believe that Frankie and I are, and will until she suddenly and somehow turns into some kind of demon who feeds on the fresh blood of children.

I've had people explain to me that they don't believe in marriage, or even long term commitment, because so often relationships fail, and they want to save themselves the pain of the break up by not putting themselves in that position. But quite frankly if that is your philosophy in life then you might as well kill yourself right now to avoid being unhappy in the future. But then you have to accept that you'll never be happy again, either. It doesn't make sense.

Almost Time...

2009-09-15T19:41:00.001Z

So, only three more days to go until the Big Day. Two more days of going into work, then one day off to spend double checking everything we need has been sorted and is still booked, sorting out any last little details that come up at the last minute and, when I can, just resting as much as I can. And the, the day itself.

I keep getting told I should be frightened, or at least getting nervous at this point, but I'm really not. I don't really see the point in being nervous about getting married. I don't have commitment issues, cold feet about only being with one woman for the rest of my life, because being with Frankie is all I could ever want, and all I have wanted for a long time now. Actually making the commitment that already exists into a legal connection isn't really an issue for me, just a formality.

And I don't have to worry about about things going wrong or not being ready on time, as we've been planning things for the last year, and we've been very careful to think about things long beforehand so that they were sorted without any rush, and in theory as little stress as possible. I suppose many things could go wrong; turn out not to be as we ordered on the day, or get cancelled at the last minute, but I've never found anybody who can explain to me the use in getting worried over hypotheticals. There are lots of things that could go wrong, but none of them are very likely. And even if they were, worrying about that situation beforehand is, quite honestly, an incredible stupid way to spend your time. I'll worry if it happens, and have the benefit of not having been worried to bits beforehand as I deal with it.

I'm more excited than anything else. On top of the fact that the whole experience will mark a clear break to a new stage in my life, which is always exciting, I love the fact that we are going to be having a huge party, with all our friends and family. Though I'm sure referring to the wedding as a “party” is a no-no, and I've been trying to avoid calling it so myself, for various reasons. But one of the wonderful things about a wedding is that it is one of the only times in your life you will get your family and friends all together at one time, and all there to see you. There are very few days in your life where people focus on you quite in the same way. Barring a couple of landmark birthdays, the only other point where you can really expect that to happen again is your funeral, as my Grandmother cheerfully pointed out to us the other day. But that occasion just isn't as fun for you really, and you rarely get to chat with the guests.

Rocky Road To Heaven...

2009-09-12T15:08:00.001Z

I think I just had a religious moment, as I discovered that Krispy Kreme are now doing Rocky-Road Doughnuts.

I then had this confirmed when I ate one.

Lost Pens...

2009-08-24T19:01:00.003Z

God puts drawings into pens
And leaves them around
So people can try to let them out again.

Yet I often hear
That pens just disappear
With their art left inside.

Perhaps they hide.

Written for the birthday of Oscar Grillo

Ode To An Orange Skinned Lady...

2009-08-19T07:55:00.004Z

Did you really think that colour looked natural,
In your search for perfect beauty?
There are women who are forced to work all day in the burning sun,
While their skin cooks black,
Just so their families won't starve.
I'm sure they'd swap with you for a day

Wasp Stings Hurt...

2009-08-11T19:53:00.000Z

This weekend, I rediscovered how much wasp stings hurt.

Hurt like hell.

Ow.

It's All In A (Swear) Word...

2009-08-03T20:33:00.001Z

This week David Cameron caused what I'm assured is a political furore by inadvertently using the word “twat” on the Absolute Radio breakfast show whilst discussing the website Twitter with host Christian O'Connal. It's ridiculous really, and I'm quite sure the only reason it got into the news was because the Conservative Party PR men and women got paranoid that potential voters would think their leader had been swearing on the radio, and they had to get his to apologise as quickly as possible to pre-empt any possible complaints. (According to reports as he left the studio his press secretary was having to explain exactly when he had sworn.)

Because, to be fair, the word twat isn't really that offensive, even to those who actually find swearing offensive. It's slang for vagina, which is perfectly acceptable to use in 'polite society'. And many people, as David Cameron showed, think it is simply another word for twit. I personally know people who thought that until told otherwise.

This could get into a discussion on swearing and whether or not a word can be offensive in itself, but the point I wanted to make here was that probably no one would have ever thought anything of it if he hadn't been made to go back and apologise. This Saturday as I was driving to the shops I was listening to an article on Radio 4 about a money making scam in India that a reporter often had to put up with whilst he was posted there as a correspondent. Apparently over there it is a common con; at one end of an underpass a man would, unnoticed, squirt shit onto a passer-by's shoe, and at the other end the shit-squirters accomplice would point out the shit to the target and offer to clean their shoes for them. (I tried not to think about the apparatus needed to surreptitiously squirt shit on somebody else's shoe, or the situation you would need to find yourself in before you would willingly use it, but there you go.)

And it wasn't until I'd arrived at my destination and turned off the radio that I suddenly realised that the reporter had been using the word “shit” throughout the piece, never once bowing to respectability by substituting the word “poo” or “excrement” in it's place, so as not to offend the easily offended. In the middle of the day, on a Saturday, on BBC Radio 4, was a man repeatedly using the word “shit'.

Now surely “shit” is a more offensive word, objectively speaking, than “twat”? Isn't it? And surely the repetitive use would add to the level of complaints? So what is it that made me sure that I wouldn't be hearing anything about this in the news. The demographic of the radio station in question? I know Radio 4 listeners are more likely to be adults, but I would have thought that it is also more likely to include those who would complain about a swearword than the listeners of Absolute Radio.

Nope. This whole thing really just highlights when a politician decides to go on a radio station to show how connected they are with “the youth”, there is a Press Secretary standing behind him telling him how to speak to the people, and what words are acceptable to use. And then they wonder why people think politicians are phoney.

We Obey, Oh Mighty Bast...

2009-07-15T19:53:00.003Z

This made me laugh. (BBC News: Cats 'exploit' humans by purring)

Imagine how mad this must be making cats, that they've been found out. That we've finally proved what they're doing. They cannot hide it now. It's all out in the open.

Not that it will stop them, or for that matter that it would stop working on us.

Fight The Donut! Fight The Power...

2009-07-05T16:49:00.003Z

There has been research done throughout history that has shaken mankind to it's very bedrock. There have been conspiracies that, once uncovered for the public to see, have threatened society at it's most fundamental levels.

The revelations below may well be one or both of these. (1)

You see, new research carried out at my secret research facility has unearthed facts about the creation and origin of one of the greatest snack foods ever eaten by man: the Krispy Kreme donut.

For years we have dined upon these wondrous treats, their sugary goodness blinding us to the fact that they are just so good that other donuts simply cannot compare. We do not ask ourselves why there is this vast gap between the taste and quality of Krispy Kreme donuts and the next best donut. Are there perhaps other donuts of a quality that would fit into this section of what we here have named the “Tasty Scale”? Maybe the makers of Krispy Kreme have kept these donuts hidden, so that they look better in comparison, gaining themselves an edge in the market?

We looked into this theory, but it just didn't pan out. I mean, who would go to all that effort just to get an edge in donut sales. It's ridiculous. So, undeterred, we dug a little deeper into this quagmire of dough and mystery, and with each shovelful we came closer and closer to the truth. The devastating, terrible truth.

And it all starts with a simple realisation. Have you ever looked at the moon? It hangs up there in the night sky, white and round. Have you get truly looked at a Krispy Kreme donut? Have you noticed how many of them are round? And white? Coincidence? They'd like to think so, but no.

The “Moon” is an enormous, sentient donut, hanging above the earth watching us evolve. It has hung there, above us, throughout all mankind's history, thinking it's high, sugary thoughts that we below cannot even contemplate. But every so often a piece of it will break away and fall to the earth in what we have come to erroneously call a 'shooting star'. When these would crash into the earth they would be found by band of wondering nomads, who would then feast upon the donut and revel in it's goodness. (This is where the folk myth that shooting stars are lucky originated)

And from this the shamans and cooks of the tribes attempted to recreate these heavenly treats using only earthly ingredients. This is how, over the years, that the normal donut was created, a mere imitation of what came to be known as “Star-Drops”. And for years the secret of the donut was kept hidden from the people, but those in power, the keepers of this great secret, forever wished to find a way to harvest the moon for it's bounty.

Then, in 1947 an unusually huge chunk fell from the sky and landed in Roswell, New Mexico. This was quickly hushed up by the US government which did not want the public to become aware of this source of bounty that they could not provide. Once President Truman had tasted this blissful entity he put all the resources of the US government towards sending men to the moon to harvest it.

It was though the space programme that they learnt what the 'moon' called itself: The Krispy Supreme. And so from that the small, man sized donuts harvested were at first called the “Creme of the Krispy Supreme”, which over time became “Krispy Kremes”. The Apollo missions came back crammed with 'moon-shavings' (as they were code named) but it wasn't until the building of the International Space Station, built solely for the purpose of regular, secret, missions to harvest the Krispy Supreme, that the snack really began to flood the market, keeping everybody happy to such a degree that we forgive world governments almost anything.

And that's the big secret. Every time a government is about to make an unpopular decision, you will notice that new Krispy Kreme store open around the areas that look most likely to cause trouble, as the donuts will distract everyone at the time, and then placate them afterwards.

So be aware, next time you see a new Kreme Kreme store opening near you, that the government is trying to confuse you and keep you compliant. Fight the donut! Fight the power!

(1) Your opinion of the importance of this research may differ from authors opinion. The author accepts no responsibility if, in fact, you don't find this important, interesting or even real in the slightest.

Smooth Daylight Criminals...

2009-07-02T19:31:00.002Z

The recent death of Michael Jackson has caused a lot of response in the media. A lot of people are rightly looking back at the impact he had on the music scene during the 70s and 80s. Some are discussing his life and personality; from being an enforced child star to a man with the mind of a child trapped in a desperate attempt to recapture his childhood. Others still have just made bad jokes about child molesting.

But the report that made me laugh was the lengths the organisers of his upcoming series of tours are trying to go not to have to refund people their money. (BBC News: Tickets Offered To Jackson Fans”). Apparently fans who had already paid for tickets to the concerts, which are obviously not going to go ahead as planned, have the option to either get their money back or receive a souvenir ticket “inspired and designed” by the star.

To quote the official Michael Jackson website; “fans will have the option to be sent the actual tickets they would have received to attend the shows in lieu of the full refunds which are being offered”. Now, is it just me or is that simply saying that people can choice to forgo the refund for a concert they now cannot see, and spent upwards from £50 for, to get to keep the ticket, except printed on slightly nicer paper than it would have been? And if so, while I'm questioning this whole situation, isn't that just a massive rip off?

And then today there are rumours that the organisers have attempted to get ABBA to perform as a group on those dates, so as not to disappoint the fans who'd booked tickets. Now I don't know if this is even true, but from people who are offering people the chance to essentially give up their refund I'd happily believe it.

Meeting The World's Happiest Dog...

2009-06-28T16:20:00.000Z

This weekend is the first full weekend off I've had in months, and it's a wonderful, missed feeling. Just knowing that we didn't have anywhere that we needed to be at any point, and that we could do what we needed to get done at our own leisure, rather than rushing to get it all down as early as possible to give us a couple of hours free, has been so damn relaxing. I've actually had time this weekend to just lie on the sofa reading. Just reading, with no niggling feeling in the back of my head that there are things that I had to be doing.

And this is all only improved by the weather we've had this weekend. Glorious was the only word to describe it yesterday. If we'd been running around doing things it would have been too hot, but being able to sit around in the sun meant it was just right.

Frankie and I went to the Common yesterday and had a picnic. Just her, me, home-made sandwiches and cold drinks. In the sun. Bliss. We did see the world's happiest dog though. There was a man out walking his dogs, and one was a small puppy that was running around everywhere with the blissful expression on it's face that puppies tend to have; the one that seems to say that the dogs could not possibly be having any more fun than they are having right now, only then to discover something that makes them even happier! And then behind them came the older dog, just trotted along constantly at the same, steady speed; clearly aware where it was going and quite happy for the new puppy to occupy the owner as long as the dog got to go at it's own pace. Just watching these two dogs together was priceless.

Today was the Pittshanger “Party In The Park”, the summer fair they hold in the local park. It was really cool, as it was exactly the sort of thing they there used to be over the summer back home when I was small, like the Fordingbridge Show or the church's Patronal Festival; with stalls, a beer tent, and different local groups putting stuff on. It made me very nostalgic, but that's one of the reasons I love living here, as sometimes it's very much got the community of a small town, rather than being part of the city. Sometimes I miss that, especially in the summer when the city just gets stuffy and muggy. Or maybe I'm just looking through rose tinted glass.

We have, however, learnt two thing about teenage girls. One is that, apparently, knee high black socks appear to be “In”. The other is all teenage girls are the same! Seriously, I'm sure when I was a teenager there were at least slight differences in how they dressed and acted.

Making A Spectacle Of Myself...

2009-06-22T20:38:00.003Z

Last week saw the Purple Theatre Company's production of Monstrous Regiment, Stephen Briggs “adaptation” of Terry Pratchett's novel. “Why the inverted commas?” I hear you ask. Well, I feel that I, in all good conscience, cannot call anything that Stephen Briggs has done to any of Terry Pratchett's work as an “adaptation”. “Butchery”, however, would be a far better word. Considering how good the Discworld books are, it is amazing how Briggs can take them and churn out such second rate scripts, with no real sense of characterisation or pace. It is simply a testimony to the quality of the original source that they are readable at all.

In a way, Briggs' adaptions are a test of an amateur dramatics groups ability to make something of a script, forcing groups across the country to go that extra mile to cover for the handicap of Stephen Briggs influence. Over the years Purple has become quite apt at taking these 'Briggsian' pigs ears and fashioning them into purses that, if not quite silken, are pretty damn good sweatshop duplicates. Speaking with the experience of helping direct the last Pratchett adaptation we put on (Wyrd Sisters, a few shows ago) I know it can be done. Eventually it becomes half the fun, finding new ways to take what you have and making something out of it.

Personally I had a great time. I got the part of Prince Heinrich, and it's the first time I've had a part that was just purely fun for me to get my teeth into. I've had bigger parts before, but in more serious shows so I wasn't able to sit back, learn the lines and then just throw myself into the role, and I've had smaller roles that didn't have as much give for me to make something of them. Heinrich is, at least in our staging, a stereotypical 'Bavarian' prince, so I got to wear a monocle, sneer, steal the focus, leer away at the over characters and speak in an accent that I fully intended to be a German one.* The character is only on for a couple of scenes, but bizarrely enough my first scene turned out to be one of only a few with all the cast of at once. Plus I got to have a couple of wonderful (as I have named them) “sneer-offs” with Andi and Toby.

But now it's all over, and I have my Sundays back. As much as I always miss seeing everybody each week, right now I need my weekends for wedding planning, and knowing I have two full days to get things planned and booked gives me a lot more freedom.

* Due to my linguistic skills, I admit that all resemblances to intended accents are purely accidental, and similarity to how any culture, country or peoples actually sound are purely coincidental.

(Not) Going Underground...

2009-06-12T19:41:00.001Z

I am very tired, but it's the good kind of tired caused by exercise, rather than not getting enough sleep. Unfortunately, this time the exercise is not due to anything voluntary, such as Frankie and I deciding we need to be more healthy in the run up to summer and the wedding, but because we've been forced to walk across central London on the way to and from work for the last two days.

The joys of working in London. It's amazing how much you just don't realise how much the transport system is a part of working in the city. If ever for some reason, be it technical faults or greedy union bosses wanting to make a point, all three major systems of transport, buses, underground and overland, the city would be buggered. This city is not designed for vehicles of any sort, so you can't drive in. Unless of course you're a BMW or Audi driving cock who thinks he's too important or rich to get public transport.

What we have discovered is that we can get the overland rail to Paddington and then walk to Holborn in the same time it takes to get the direct tube, so we didn't lose any time, but a 45 minute walk along the A40 first thing in the morning and then again after work is a little much. Plus we lose the couple of hours a day we get to read.

I did reach an insight though, during our long walk in the city. It's amazing how you can completely support an industrial action, or at least understand it in these troubled times, especially in an organisation that we all know is not that well run, but once a public service goes on strike for no clear significant reason they lose all support from the people who use their services.

I don't claim to know all the details of the dispute, but from what I can find the whole thing seems to be to make a point. Unless there are lots of little details not being released, the union is demanding job securities that are unrealistic in a recession, and coupled with Bob Crow announcing that he could call another strike within days if his demands are not met just smack of the union leadership wanting to show off what they can do if they are not given everything they demand.

I really want to support the unions in this. I hate sounding so Tory about all this, as I know there is probably some justification behind it all and TfL is probably cutting costs to save the executives their bonuses,, but the strike action taken this week has done nothing detrimental to the TfL, but alienated the union from the commuters.

A Poem for Ju...

2009-05-30T12:14:00.002Z

The once was a Ju
Who
Raised an army of Opes
To vanquish a Queen,
It would seem.

Now it might seem quite barmy
To use Opes in an army.
For Opes are quite meek
And have eighty nine feet.
And often, past times,
Have got drunk eating limes.

So Ju hid all her fruit
While her bard played the flute,
And she hid them away
In a pot made of clay.

So the army advanced
Through the mountains of France.
And through skill and good cheer
They did battle a year.

And Juliette vanquished a Queen.

(I think that was mean)

Written in honour of the birthday of Lady With The Laptop.

Congratulations Gareth and GemGem...

2009-05-26T19:11:00.004Z

Congratulation to Mr. and Mrs. Gareth and Gemma Jones

Married Sunday 24th May, 2009

Photos can be found here

New(ish) Flat...

2009-05-20T20:09:00.001Z

We're in. We've settled. Most of the boxes are flatted in the back of the cupboard and everything important has been given a place and wired in as appropriate. We have moved flat.

Technically we've been in the new flat for three weeks or so now, but it's taken us quite a while to get things down to a settled state. Once everything was transferred into the new place the flat was filled with boxes, and as each item got put away and we managed to form a semblance of order one more box would need to be opened and the place would be a tip again until we could find the next thin we needed before we could find a place for the original item. Any one who has ever moved house probably knows what I am talking about. A shudders with revulsion at the memory. I still hate moving.

But anyway, let us focus on the positive. The move is over now and Frankie and I are in our big, shiny new flat. Staring with the obvious differences it's bigger than the last place, is better laid out and 16% cheaper! (Yes, I did the math to sound cleverer. Did it work?) I have decided that more for less is the way forward. It's a lot more homely, mainly down to two factors; the fact that there is a corridor connecting the rooms so you don't walk straight through the front door into the living room, and that it has carpets. It strange how much a flat seems more comfortable just by having the soft feel of a carpet underfoot. It's just the tiniest extra layer on comfort, but it does so much. And, as of last night, part of it has been vacuumed.

We're also still in the same area, only five or ten minutes walk from our last place in fact. But we are on a different street and a different bus route. And this is one of the big advantages of the place. For those of you who do not live in London, here is a piece of information that you may not have previously known. Every other bus, in the whole of Greater London, is an E1. Over the last year, each day we would return to Ealing Broadway and exit the station and take our place, waiting for the 297 bus. And normally we would continue to wait. And wait. There are a lot of buses stopping at Ealing Broadway, but over time we noticed that every other bus was an E1. First and E1 would leave, then an E2. Then another E1, followed by a 266. Then another E1, followed by a 65...

I think you get the point. But now we live on the E1 bus route, and we haven't had to wait longer than 5 minutes for the bus home any night since we've moved. I suddenly have faith in Transport For London again!

We also have a balcony, so I'm looking forward to the hot whether coming back so we can go outside and enjoy in, as the heatwave ended as soon as the move was ended.

RIP: Sir Clement Freud

2009-04-16T18:21:00.003Z

I woke up this morning to hear on the radio that Sir Clement Freud died yesterday. I only really know of him through listening to the radio show Just A Minute, of which he had been a regular contestant from it's inception in 1967, and I've always been a fan of his. Listening to him speak you knew that he was someone who understood the essence of words in humour; knew exactly how to phrase his sentences, in his deadpan tone, or call up somebody on the tiniest mispronunciation in theirs to get to the centre of the humour of the situation. Listen to the show when he is playing and you can hear that the newer contestants are mostly playing against him, trying to score a point and be able to say they managed to outwit Clement Freud just that once.

Reading the obituaries this morning I was amazed with the amount this man managed to do throughout his life. Obviously starting out with the lineage of being Sigmund Freud's grandson, he went on to add chef, restaurant owner, newspaper and magazine columnist, aide to Field Marshal Montgomery, liaison officer at the Nuremburg war trials, Liberal MP for 14 years, children's author, nightclub manager, and university Rector.

Radio comedy will never be quite the same again.

RIP Sir Clement Freud
24th April 1924 - 15th April 2009

The Cost Of A Drink...

2009-03-23T21:21:00.002Z

Recently in the news there has been talk about the Sir Liam Donaldson's recommendations to set a minimum price on alcohol, meaning that each unit of alcohol would have a minimum price, which Sir Liam's suggestion is of 50p. (BBC News: Plans for minimum alcohol price) The idea is to put a stop to bargain and “Own-Brand” alcohol that makes it easy for binge and underage drinkers. There was quite a lot of interest in this for a few days last week, with both the English and Scottish government saying that they're not ruling out using fixed prices to fight problem drinkers, and various trade bodies such as The Portman Group saying that it wouldn't have any effect other than penalising moderate drinkers who would suddenly be spending much more money on the occasional drink.

But surely if you're only having the occasional drink then you're not really going to notice the difference. If the average bottle of wine would be legally no cheaper than £4.50 I can't say that it would put me off buying it; particularly as most wine under that price isn't normally that good anyway. Surely the point is that if such a price makes you suddenly find yourself unable to afford the amount of alcohol you consume in a week you should really be thinking out how high that level is.

I think this would be a good idea, and while this not something that's going to affect the world in any major way or destroy binge drinking in one swoop, people are only going to binge on alcohol if they can afford it. For an example, let's say that Joe Average (this name may have been changed to protect the innocent) goes out every Friday night after work and drinks until they pass out in a cab covered in his own vomit. If prices go up he is going to notice it when suddenly he has a lot less money on his credit card. Also, people who binge drink do it on the nasty, cheap, luminous cocktails and alco-pops that are usually the cheapest drink on the bar. When was the last time you heard someone talking about how they went out last night and ordered 12 shots of single malt twenty year old scotch and got wasted? These aren't people drinking to enjoy the drink in question, these are people drinking whatever they can afford most of because, for them, the aim is to get as drunk as possible and quickly as possible.

However The Portman Group have called these plans “punishing everyone [when] we should focus on the irresponsible minority.” And this is a fair point I suppose. But far be it for me to say the many should suffer from the actions of the few, but in reality the many do suffer due to the actions of the few. On their website the Portman Group states the Government should “concentrate on changing the behaviour of harmful drinkers rather than punish everyone by setting a minimum price for alcohol.” But when exactly did it become the Governments responsibility to change and mould our behaviour? Personally I don't think that a society where the Government tells us how to behave, or even needs to, is a very good idea at all. If, as a culture, we have a problem with binge drinking we need to address that ourselves. When people are more aware, they passively do more to prevent the problems our culture has. As it is, drinking is socially acceptable so we don't question the troubles it can cause until they affect us personally.

It's the same issues that the smoking ban brought up, being rehashed all over again, although, of course, at a much smaller level. Legislation such as this with the superficial aim to benefit people's health directly, in this case by putting off underage drinkers and curtailing binge drinking; but more importantly this sort of thing uses the inevitable backlash in the media to highlight that the problem is there. Health issues caused by things such as smoking and over-drinking are known to everyone, but are often overlooked as they, as habits, have been around for so long, even if the health concerns have only come to light in the last few decades; accordingly they have faded into the background. Sometimes we need to be reminded that these problems are still there.

They're The Best Of Friends...

2009-03-11T19:51:00.002Z

For those of you who've read the comic or seem the new film, this is the greatest 80 kids show opening credits parody of a graphic novel ever!

Get A Name, Dumbass...

2009-03-08T17:50:00.001Z

There is a film director. He hasn't done an amazing amount in his CV, but he's done more as an executive producer in television. And I hate this man. It's partly due to the films he has chosen to make and how bad they are, but mostly it's his name; McG.

McG. That's it. What sort of massive twat has that as their name. Their professional moniker that gets put up at the beginning of movies as “A film by McG”. It just conjures up some idiot in his late twenties dressed in skater shorts, T-shirt and sunglasses all year round, regardless of the weather, basking in his own love for himself, in the blissful knowledge that he is so important and awesome that he doesn't need two names like other people, he doesn't even need a whole word. He's is so great that he only needs to abbreviation “McG”. This image isn't helped by his work up to this date; other than a couple of music videos he's the mastermind behind the cinematic abortions that were Charlie's Angels and Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle. He's credited with being 'executive producer' (a job title that means you don't do very much once the original idea has been created) with a number of appalling television shows, and is the man who attempted to get an American remake of Spaced up and running.

You see, from his name and career this man has nothing going for him.

However, he was chosen by the powers that be to direct the latest Terminator movie, Terminator: Salvation, despite much justified anger from geekboy fans. Now despite a number of film critics who claim to have seen footage and say it's actually looking to deviate from his past style and actually be not that bad, I have no trust that he'll make it anything other than a rubbish film, but in an interview in Empire magazine he's actually explained why he goes by this name.

“It's fun to hate a guy called McG. In my humble opinion it's fucking lunacy because it's just short for McGinty – fucking get past it. My name is Joseph McGinty Nichol ... I was called McG since the day I was born because we were broke and there were three Joes in the house. There's no Hollywood, 'I think I'll give myself a nickname' bullshit. It just is. And at some point I would be a sell-out punk if I rolled over and said, 'Well, call me Joe'”

Is it just me, or does it not make any sense to say that “McG” isn't a nickname if it's short for you're full name? A lot fewer people would consider his a pretentious wanker if his film were labelled “A Film By Joseph McGinty Nichol” to people who meet him in personal he can tell them, “Call me McG.” And I'm still not sure what being broke has to do with getting a nick name. Could the family not afford many pencils, so had to use them as little as possible when they had to write out each others names?

But then of course it wouldn't really help, as every film he's made and almost every TV show he's produced (I quite like Chuck) has been wholly rubbish. I mean, Brett Ratner doesn't have a ridiculous mono-syllabic name and I still hate everything he's ever directed as well. Just not as much as McG.

Spam, Spam, Spam...

2009-02-18T20:57:00.002Z

Email spam is an interesting thing. I've been wondering recently what automated system has managed to get hold of my hotmail address, since I've noticed a pattern in the topics of the messages I find in the junk folder of my inbox; I'll get one general theme for a month or so then another, and then after another month has gone by it will change again and I'll get a spate of message trying to con me into clicking invalid internet links by another painfully transparent means.

They're not terribly original. There is the traditional porn links consisting of incorrectly spelt lures in the subject lines to attempt to get through internet security filters, offering me badly spelt titillation if I'll only open a link consisting of purely random numbers and letters that might as well scream out “download our virus and see what happens”. Then there are the cheap pharmaceuticals, offering drugs that I'm sure are recognisable if you're American delivered in bulk by post at the cost of mere dollars, which I suppose should reassure me, showing, as it does, that whatever programme has my email isn't high-tech enough to work out from my IP address what country I'm in. I even had a month where I assume there was a glitch somewhere along the line, as all I got were lines of total gibberish for a while.

I have recently seen evidence that even internet spam follows global trends, as I'm currently getting emails claiming to be from banks I've never had an account with telling me they've lost all my details and it's desperately urgent that resend them all otherwise I'm liable to lose all my money. Oh, and some telling me to log in to their new “website” to get secret credit-crunch beating advise. I'd be more convinced if I could believe any national banks had Yahoo email addresses.

And so I'm left wondering (the sort of random thought connections I am liable to make at times) exactly what the desired ratio is for the amount of email spam sent out per person who gets taken in by it. I mean, the amount of spam that gets set out to the millions of email accounts throughout the world has got be hugely disproportionate to the few that actually get answered by those foolish enough to click the links that download the viruses or naive enough to email their bank details to a stranger. Do you think anyone, anywhere knows what the ratio is? It would be one of those interesting but pointless facts that are always fun to know.

(And yes, for those who get the reference in the title I do have the image in my head of a bunch of Vikings in a greasy spoon cafe somewhere writing and sending spam emails as a hobby)

Snow Day...

2009-02-02T09:12:00.005Z

When I went outside my front door this morning I was greeted by this...

Yep, that's 4 or so inches of snow here in London. Now, in my usual restrained and dignified manner...

SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW, SNOW!

Ahem.

Anyway, as this is London everything is at a standstill. All the buses have been stopped, and any tube line with a overland section is having major problems. London can't do snow. So we're stuck here on a snow day; which may have involved Frankie and I wondering down to Pitshanger Park to play in the snow.

Beautiful, isn't it.

Tom's Pet Hates #14...

2009-01-28T19:40:00.002Z

In my mind there are two kinds of radio, talk-radio and music-radio. Talk-radio is where the programmes are based around speech; such as politcal discussion programmes and comedy shows in the vein of Just A Minute. These are stations such as Radio 4. Music-radio is where there are no programmes as such, but periods of time during the day where scheduled DJs choose what music to play throughout the day, such as Radio 1 or Absolute Radio. It's all pretty simple.

There are also two times of the day when I am guaranteed to be listening to the radio; first thing in the morning and making dinner in the evening once I've got home from work. Unfortunately these to times tent to coincide with the points in the day where music-radio tend to feel it needs shows where there it is more important to have entertaining chatter than music. In principle this is fine, but in practice no one can sit down for two to four hours every morning and actually come up with inane chatter that is actually interesting or entertaining. This is the point where you wake up each morning to hear them “bantering” about any random topic they can scour from the morning papers desperate trying to pretend that it's the funniest thing they've hear of in years.

And here is what annoys me more more than anything on the radio; this forced enthusiasm of any little thing they can find. Any tiny snippet of news that they can drag out to fill another ten minutes of their show. You, the listener, know it's barely interesting and not at all funny, The presenter on the radio knows the same thing, but we're forced to listen to them claw their way through the topic with the fake laugher of those who are aware that their job relies on making station owners believe they are exactly what people want to listen to. I know I could just switch over, but sometimes I want to listen to music rather than speech, and this seems to always be when all the music stations are playing one song every ten minutes.

For example, on the evening show on Absolute Radio there is a segment where one of the presenters takes a topic, a film, piece of music, a pastime, that everybody likes, and then spends a couple of minutes on a comedy monologue explain why she actually hates it. This is never funny. Never. Yet if I flick through the stations as a start to cook dinner I have to hear everyone else in the studio forcing themselves into the worst fake laughter, which just makes the whole thing more painful.

It's as bad as canned laughter on a TV show. The 'banter' on it's own wouldn't annoy me half as much; if they just left it at that and allowed us to laugh if it was funny and ignore it when it wasn't, but this imposed, unnatural laughter over the top makes it seem like they're trying to force the listener to believe that they're being really, really funny when they're not. That's really the numb of the matter; the fact that they're not allowing us to decide what's funny and what isn't. Especially if it really, obviously isn't funny.

The Mages Of Imlan: A Conclusion...

2009-01-24T18:58:00.001Z

So they made their way through the mysterious, trap laden, infuriating dungeon, found their way into the sunken city of Imlan, lost and forgotten for three thousand years, and prevented Isophale and her mages from completing the ritual started by her ancestors that destroyed the city in the first place. They then returned to find revolution and regime change, and so the party, having decide that the Priest couldn't land either the land they had just saved or the rest of the party, broke up never to travel together again.

And so ended my first full campaign for my new tabletop roleplay system; “The Mages Of Imlan”. (Technically it's my second campaign, but the first was disrupted by people moving away and me writing myself into a corner which led to me starting a new campaign.) Overall I'm very happy with how it turned out. Especially as it's been about five months since the last session due to the fact that I could never get everybody into the same room at a weekend. There's a couple of issue I need to work out; especially the combat system, but Andi, the guy I'm writing the system with, has already come up with a new idea of how to half the time and effort in combat, so hopefully that'll work out when we get the next game up and running. And hey, that's what play testing is all about.

It was really interesting watching the players put together all the clues they'd found to work out what was going on, especially how they filled in the bits that they'd managed to miss by not find the remaining letters or by killing people they should have interrogated. Plus it was gratifying to know I had given them enough information to work out the backstory and plot, without making it too obvious. My one disappointment is that I didn't make it clear enough exactly who the main antagonist was, so once the party had defeated her they weren't totally sure they had actually done the right thing. But for my first time GMing I'm very happy.

Now I just need to sit down and finish writing the next game. I've got the first part all sorted out. One of the players says they want to continue with the same character, and they all ended in a way that's given me some really interesting ideas to carry on with. Now I somehow need to find more free time in the week to write.

Happy Birthday Mac...

2009-01-23T20:16:00.002Z

Just to continue on from the below post, happy 25th birthday to the original Apple Macintosh.

I Have A New Toy...

2009-01-18T16:03:00.002Z

I have a new toy. This is my new shiny Mac Mini.

I've always said that once my PC finally died I was going to get a Mac next, because of my ever growing hatred of any Microsoft products and the shoddy construction of most PCs compared to everything I'd seen or heard of Macs. So as my PC power supply had gone bang, possibly taking out the motherboard I decided that it really wasn't worth going through each component in turn until the damn thing worked again, as as I'd just got my Christmas bonus I might as well say goodbye to 'personal' computers put together from unconnected components by some factory worker at Dell and move on the the well designed, clean world of the Mac.

I've included a CD in the slot in this picture to highlight the size of the thing. If you're reading this on an ordinary PC have a look at the desktop box and then look at this. This is the size a desktop computer needs to be if you design it well. And taking that as an example imagine using a desktop computer that has been designed to that level of efficiency. Power wise I can have more than one programme running at a time without a massive slowdown, and when I turn it on it has a 30 second loading time rather than the five to ten minute it used to take my PC. And just to give to honest opinion of somebody who has always used Windows and has now switched over to Mac OS, the operating system on a Mac is infinitely more efficient that Windows can ever hope to be. It's just so easy to use, and everything you use regularly can be there on the desktop to open in a click without having hundreds of icons all over your screen making impossible to find the one you want without a ten minute search.

I know some people want PCs as they can update them and build them up themselves as games and software become more powerful, but quite frankly most people don't need that option and should really be buying Macs rather than PCs. And if you're considering this the Mac Mini is the best way to go, as it's designed to use all the peripherals that you'd be using on the PC you'd be replacing. I've still got the same monitor and keyboard that I had before.

Happy New 2009...

2009-01-03T19:35:00.001Z

Happy 2009 everybody!!

So that was an excellent holiday for me. Frankie and I went off down to Hampshire as soon as we were both out of work, so we were down there for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which was great as I got to actually spent a couple of days of both of us relaxing with my family, eating and doing as little as possible. Although it's kind of depressing when you realise that you're tired and ready to go to bed by 9pm. We've come up with the theory that once we're outside of London the increased level of oxygen in the air is too much for our bodies and we have to sleep. I'm sticking to that excuse. Then back to Ealing to spent boxing day with Frankie's family, replacing quiet Christmas with everyone over 18 to hanging out with two nieces under 5. Good job they're so cute.

Gifts wise I was quite pleased with our offerings, and I think, at least mostly, we got people things they wanted. Unless I actually know about something someone actually wants I always feel that my choice of gifts for people is inadequate unless I find something I really think they'll like, and this year I feel I mostly did. And, as if karma was having a say about this, everything I received was just as good as well.

This year we decided it was about time we hosted the big party again. It's been four years since our last New Years party, and then I had to go into work between 10pm and 2am the morning of the first because I was on night shifts at my new job. And I love hosting parties where we can get everyone into our place enjoy a big special occasion. We even managed that rarest of things; planning several weeks ahead and giving people plenty of time to get their plans sorted.

One things we've discovered; there's nothing like having a big party planned to encourage cleaning the flat from top to bottom, and there is also nothing more pointless in the long run. 72 hours ago the floor was swept and mopped, and everything was neatly arranged to that the maximum number of people could fit in. Now... not so much. I'd say we're about half way through getting it all finished, but as we had people here from Wednesday until last night plates and glasses have been getting reused as fast as they've been washed.

Constant... stream.. of dirty glasses to wash!!

But hooray for years when the holidays fall on days that give me almost a fortnight off work!

Christmas, I Needed You...

2008-12-18T20:57:00.004Z

And so, Christmas is upon us once again. That time of carols, brightly coloured lights in the trees and lamp posts of your town, foliage finding it’s way into your house and getting itself in brightly coloured bits of foil and paper, carefully cultivated over ever many years you’ve had children, and more food than you would ever eat in any other two or three week period during the year.

The largest size tree we can fit in our car, leading planes into land in our flat

And, of course, my absolute favourite time of the year!

Yes, Christmas has it all. As long as you put an effort in. A lot of people I’ve known over the years have bitched about Christmas; saying how it’s all commercialised and soulless and they don’t see the point. And to them I say “Humbug!” Christmas is what you make of it. I see Christmas as a festival of lights, of denying the encroaching darkness and drizzle that is the English winter by staying in and seeing good friends. How do I make sure I get this? I invite them around and give people the chance to do that. Why decorate the house every year? For a change, to make the place you live in all year that little bit special and colourful. (As I type the fairy lights around our window are reflecting off the screen in what I suspect is a light show that isn’t that good for my eyes.)

If you think Christmas is commercial and soulless, don’t spend any money. Do what you want to do, enjoy the festivities of the time of year and invest it with some soul. See your family, your friends. Take Christmas back!

It probably helps that my family have always gone in for Christmas in a big way, and being involved in our local church and various choirs the run up to Christmas was two or three months of preparing celebrations and practicing carols, so that now sitting back and listening to all those carols and songs I’ve sung so many times in my childhood just takes me back to a simpler time in my life, where I was taking part in life rather than looking after myself.

Nothing relaxes me quite as much as sitting back, the only lights in a room those on the Christmas tree and listening to carols or other traditional Christmas music and just letting myself go. For example? This post was originally intended to involve a rant about how I’ve been so busy in these last couple of weeks getting everything finished at work before the holiday that I’ve been unable to feel Christmasy enough, but just sitting down, putting on a CD of carols and sitting in the light of our tree has turned that into a pleasant little jaunt around my thoughts on this wonderful time of year.

"Super" A Show In Review...

2008-12-10T19:03:00.005Z

So the week before last was show week for the latest show put on by Purple Theatre; Super: A Musical About The Superhuman Condition. I meant to write up about it earlier, but it’s taken so long for everything to get back on track since then, what with exhaustion, plague and just trying to get back into the swing of everyday life, this is the first time I’ve had the chance to sit down and write something on here.

The Zero 6 face off against Dominus

All in all, the whole week went really well. Due to certain people (I won’t get into details, as I’m likely to start ranting and they’re not worth my time) no longer being involved in Purple in any way the whole production process worked a lot more smoothly than I remember from the last few shows I’ve done, and with everybody being allowed to help out getting things into the theatre, the get-in and technical rehearsal actually got completed on time, meaning we had a full dress rehearsal on the Tuesday, which I can’t remember ever getting to do on a big show before. We managed to avoid the inevitable dip in energy until Friday night, rather than Thursday night, meaning that we had a fuller audience to cover for it. We had one or two muddling up of lines throughout the week, but each time it did happen somebody managed to cover it up, and we never got any horrible moments where nobody couldn't think of what to say next and stood there on stage until the next line was whispered from the wings.

The Opening Number

We also got great numbers in to see the show, and actually had to open up seats in the auditorium that don’t normally get sold unless it's urgent (due to them not being the best seats to see from) on the Saturday night due to being completely sold out. Well done to Frankie on her first show as Publicity Manager.

Throughout the whole week, through talking to those who watched me, I have also managed to learn a couple of new things about myself:

1 – My grin, whilst dancing, is either “sarcastic” or “demented”. I’m not sure which is preferable.
2 – I am no longer allowed, by order of Mark, to utilise my hips in any type of backing dance ever again, due to the fear they apparently inspired in some of my LRP friends.

I’m not entirely sure how to take these new facts, but I’m sure they’ll make my life and the lives of those around me a little easier to handle.

The after-show party was a bit of a bust for me, as the downside of having loads of friends come down to London by train to see the show is that they then all need somebody to give them lifts to their places of crashing, meaning that I spent from between 2am and 5am driving around Uxbridge, Northolt and Ealing getting people to places. It was a bit annoying, but the next morning everyone ended up coming over to our flat to chill, so I’m just using that as my after-show instead. And that probably works out just as good, if not better, because although I didn’t get to hang out with everyone from the cast, I did get to hang out with people without being exhausted.

Unfortunately during the month or so before the show someone, somewhere seemed to be developing some sort of horrific genetic plague designed to focus on members of Purple Theatre Company and force them out of action and into a pit of coughing, sore throats, wheezing lungs and noses running the one hundred metres. From the final Sunday rehearsal to the opening night we had The Lady With The Laptop understudying for up to three other roles. And since then I think everybody who was even slightly involved has been struck down completely with this accursed lergy! A couple of people were, on the final night, dosing themselves up with sore throat spray before going on stage and then collapsing once they walked off. We’re committed! Nothing will stop us putting on our show!!

I also just want to say how cool the family that randomly turned up in costumes was. Nobody knew them, they just all turned up in superhero costumes. They rock.

Swings And Roundabouts...

2008-11-19T19:28:00.000Z

Well that’s annoying. There are posters up at Ealing Underground station for this years panto at the Richmond Theatre and the selling point, as always is the celebrities who happen to be starring in it.

So I get quite excited, as this year they are putting on Peter Pan, with Simon Callow as Captain Hook. I think seeing Simon Callow in panto would be great, he’s just the sort of actor you know is going to be enjoying himself and stealing the entire show. But then I continue reading and see who’s playing the role of Peter Pan…

…Bonnie Langford.

*shudders*

As much as I’d want to see Simon Callow, I’m not sure I could even possibly bear to sit through two odd hours of anything with that woman in it. Oh, how they give with one hand and take away with the other! Curses upon them I say!

I See No Reason...

2008-11-08T18:18:00.002Z

I totally missed Guy Fawkes Night this year. I knew it was the right time of year, and there had been random fireworks throughout the week, but even when there were loads of fireworks going off on Wednesday it still didn’t click why. I find it hard to bring myself to care very much about the 5th November. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot, or so the rhyme says. Forgot? Maybe not. But celebrated?

Being neither Protestant, Catholic or overtly royalist I don’t really see, other than tradition, why every year people still celebrate that 403 years ago a Catholic plot to kill the Protestant King of England, and much of the aristocracy, was foiled. And it’s not like it’s one of those occasions that has developed other meanings over the years; unless there are some I’m not aware of the whole thing is still a celebration that our monarchy is still in power and to burn an effigy of a Catholic.

I wonder how many practicing Catholics there are out there who burnt a ‘Guy’ on top of a bonfire last Wednesday without realising exactly what they were symbolising.

Remember, Remember, The Last Eight Years...

2008-11-04T19:01:00.001Z

So, a few thoughts on the US election. Well once again the American public has the chance to choose roughly the way their government will lean for the next four years. I say roughly of course because, as a lot of people complain and use erroneously as an excuse not to have to vote, in the two party system that has managed to lock itself into the USA’s political system, both the candidates are going to have approximately the same ideas. If you think about it, about 90% of all decisions a country’s premiere is going to make will be the same as the person they defeated to become premiere in the first place and it’s the remaining 10% and the style in which they do it that make all the difference.

Since I took American History for my elective modules in the first year of university I’ve always found the United Stated electoral system interesting. Like most political systems over a century old it’s badly out of date, with the whole Electoral College concept that’s been outdated since the introduction of the mass media which allows the public to directly judge the candidates rather than trust to the colleges, and the fact, as I said above, I cannot feel comfortable with the fact that you only realistically have a choice of two people when it comes down to it. (The last third party candidate to even get close was Theodore Roosevelt in 1912)

Reading up on the election run I’ve found it interesting how everyone’s opinion of George W. Bush has shaped things. This man has become so distrusted by the American people that McCain’s campaign managers deliberately asked Bush not to endorse McCain as it would be more of a hindrance than a help. The thing about George W. is that whatever he is, evil or stupid, misguided or manipulated, he’s always been exactly what he’s appeared. In fact he’s never even pretended to be anything else. When they voted for him, the American public knew full well they were asking for an arch Republican fundamentalist. When he won the election in incredibly dubious circumstances (linking nicely back to the anachronistic Electoral College system) there were no huge public movements to get to the bottom of things. They just accepted it. And when they re-elected him in ‘04 they were clearly stating that they wanted a President who would continue to wage war on the Middle East and run the economy into the ground to pay for it.

But now they seem to be secretly realising what they did. Forced to look at the state of the country through the medium of a Presidential Election they’re seeing where their choices have left them. Throughout the whole campaign I’ve been reading each of the candidates talk about being the person who will bring about change. Every commentator seems to recognise they need a change in their country’s direction, but none of them want to actually admit they actually made these mistakes in the first place. Because in a democracy (though there are many arguments that the American political system is getting slowly less and less like a democracy in some parts of the country) the direction of your country can eventually be ground down to the choices the public make at election time and the way the react to the decisions their elected officials make.

To quote Ian Hislop in last week’s Have I Got News For You, when discussing politicians seemingly late responses to the recent BBC scandal; “You mean politicians didn’t find something important, but then the public got upset so they started to do something about it? My God! That almost sounds like a democracy to me?”

But at least this time around it’s a case that I think that the Democratic candidate will win, rather than hope they will. Even if the American public won’t admit publicly that they made their mistakes, maybe they’ll remember their embarrassment and learn something from it.

If Ever You Venture To Darkest Puru...

2008-10-16T19:41:00.002Z

...BEWARE THE HORN-ED TOADS!!!!

(or just don't let me and Andi near a camera when we're being "creative")

No More Signed Tank Engines...

2008-10-14T20:22:00.001Z

Waking up this morning I heard about this (BBC News: “Ringo “Too Busy” For Autographs”). So Ringo Star has decided that he doesn’t want to answer fan mail any more, and after the 20th October he will throw away anything sent to him.

Now I understand, to a level, when people say big stars have to give something back to their fans. To a point it’s only fair for people who’s success is largely based on the public handing it to them, often not even connected to any level of talent, but only to a point. But I found it amazing how the DJ on Absolute Radio, and to a lesser extent the presenters on the BBC breakfast show, took this a an easy shot at a star, making jokes about how ungrateful this was of Ringo, turning his back on his fans like this.

Now if this was some talentless “celebrity” whose fame is entirely dependant on public opinion as they have no discernable talent to keep the money coming in, but this is Ringo Star. He’s one of the two remaining Beetles. How much fan mail do you think this man receives everyday? How many fan letters, unsolicited demo tapes, autograph requests he gets sent everyday, with every sender expecting him to respond personally? He’s in his sixties now, at least, he’s going to have a lot more important things to do. At least now he’s been honest and everybody knows what to expect.

But is it bad that when I was listening to the recording on the radio, that after every sentence I expected him to finish it with “…said the fat controller”?

The Writing's On The Wall (As The Screen Won't Work)...

2008-10-09T18:37:00.002Z

My computer is rubbish once again. And when I say “once again” it is of course a little bit misleading, as it’s never really stopped being rubbish. It’s been slowly going down hill for a couple of years, getting slower, causing me more and more issues. I suppose it’s nothing surprising really, I mean it wasn’t top of the range when I bought it and it’s about six years old now.

But recently it decided, all of a sudden, to randomly turn itself on for no readily apparent reason and sit there, whirring away to itself without loading anything and wouldn’t allow itself to be turned off so that we had to unplug it. Now all that will happen is you can plug it in and it will turn on but not load anything.

I’m guessing this is something to do with the power or the wiring, but my knowledge of the inside of PCs isn’t particularly good and looking inside I can’t see anything obviously wrong and couldn’t see any signs of burning or melting. So I’m now on to the plan of waiting until the next time somebody who knows about these things visits and I can make use of their professional opinions. Luckily I still have almost all of my files backup up on my external hard drive from when I reinstalled the OS a couple of months ago so I haven’t lost anything important if something irreparable has happened to the insides, so I’m just forced to use Frankie’s laptop for now.

Now it’s down to saving so I can buy myself a MacBook. I’m finished with PCs, I want a Mac.

Freaky Eating...

2008-10-01T20:20:00.004Z

We’ve been watching Freaky Eaters recently, where they take people who literally can’t make themselves eat real food, people can only eat sausages, or pasta. It’s quite interesting seeing how bad people can get, where they’ve somehow managed to reach a state where their bodies can’t cope with any food other than their “addiction”. Seeing someone make themselves retch just by putting a piece of carrot in their mouths.

Of course there’s never a biological reason behind it all, it’s always in their heads. And there’s always a point where the presenter, one Dr. Pixie (please let that be her real name) points out to the parents that they could have sorted the whole thing out years ago.

It’s makes me think about how my little sister used to be. Due to almost constant bouts of tonsillitis throughout the first five years of her life put her off most foods, even once she’d had them out. We once went on a two week holiday to Majorca where she ate nothing but chocolate milk, bananas and orange Chuppa-Chump lollies. She used to insist on having the breadcrumbs removed from fish fingers before she’d eat them, that sort of thing.

How did my mother put an end to it? When my sister was getting to the age where she was going to start secondary school my mother pointed out how much her friends would take the piss out of her if she went round for dinner and asked to have the breadcrumbs cut off. (Not in those words, but I’m sure that was the jist of it.

So, deep and meaningful therapy in adulthood, or having your mother utilise the teenage need to be accepted into the group? Which would you prefer?

The Spider Fears The Conker...

2008-09-22T19:48:00.001Z

Everybody knows the old wives tale that having conkers in the house will keep spiders away, but how many of you out there actually know why they do this? As The Lady With The Laptop and others professed and interest this weekend (don’t pretend you weren’t listening) I felt I should relay the tale to you all.

Long ago, far back into the mists of time, when mankind was in this infancy and creature of forgotten myth and lore still roamed this land, and the conker was much like the spider in appearance; it has a round, brown body, and large pale eyes and long, spindly legs. They grew in egg clusters upon trees, hatching in autumn ready to hunt down and feast upon hibernating animals, such as hedgehogs, voles and pigs.

However the conker was not without natural enemies, for it had a total of nine legs and, as we all know, the spider has an innate hatred and fear all any and all creatures with more legs than they do. This extra leg of the conker, used mostly for balance, was seen by spider-kind as an deathly insult. It was as if the conkers would fall from the trees each year just to mock the spiders; saying

“You may have eight impressive legs, but we have nine. Our race is, and always will be, one better than you!”

And so every autumn, when the conkers were at their most numerous, war would be raged in the fields and hedgerows and gardens of the world. And each year the war went badly for the spiders, as the conkers were feral and cunning and would lay swaths of spider corpses across the land.

And each year there were less and less spiders to fight back. They were losing their war and facing extinction. At this time the great remaining spider chieftains met in secret and came up with a plan. They would summon all their shamen and hold a rite of such power and magnitude that the conker race would be crippled beyond aid.

And so it came to pass that the rite was performed, and conker-kind was cursed. From the point on each generation of conkers was born without their legs. Generation after generation is born, falls to the ground and is forced to lie their, staring at a world they no longer rule until children find them and drill holes through them for their sport. But the victory was at a cost; the spell was so powerful their the shamen spiders were burnt out forever, and the race of spiders never could use magic again.

But the spider has never forgotten how close their race came to extinction at the hand of the conker, and from that time on every spider’s greatest fear is that one day the rite will fail and the conker will return in all it’s power, knowledge and legs. And that is why a spider will not enter a house with too many conkers inside.

They are afraid...

Blink Kitty...

2008-09-18T08:07:00.002Z

Anyone remember the episode of Dr Who called Blink?

A Thing Of Great Joy...

2008-09-03T17:03:00.005Z

I have bought myself a thing of great beauty and wonder…

Doesn’t that site bring joy into the world? All of the films Laurel and Hardy did in the Hal Roach studios in one box set. When I was shopping for something completely different last month I saw a couple of these, cut in price from £200 to £50! That’s a three quarters drop in the price tag from exorbitant to easily affordable which left me with only to wait until the next pay day to rush out and grab it.

But of course I then had to try and comprehend Frankie’s reaction to watching The Music Box (it’s a classic and I had to watch it first) that she didn’t like Laurel and Hardy! How can you not enjoy Laurel and Hardy? It’s just sublime, pure film comedy from the birth of cinema; part of the generation of vaudeville comedians and actors drawn to this new medium and helping shape it and what could be created using the silver screen.

But even with peers such as Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd and all those who were still be remembered almost a century on, even if only by film buffs and historians, I always find Laurel and Hardy to just stand out; two immortal clowns forced together by nature to whether the storms and perils of this world, never giving in or accepting their repeated downfalls as anything other than temporary setbacks. Characters who, unlike Chaplin’s tramp or Lloyd’s Boy, lasted indefinitely throughout their careers, only ended when the actors themselves retired from filmmaking. They may have made some films that were better than others, over such a career who wouldn’t, but I doubt any team or single comedians have since, or will ever, have the same impact or lasting image.

And of course, feeling this way, it gave me great satisfaction to sit down and watch Way Out West and have Frankie sitting there and laughing just as much as me and admitting it was only “some” Laurel and Hardy she couldn’t stand. Which just goes to show you can’t watch these two without bringing out a smile.

To All Those Who Thought Their Parents Hated You When They Named You...

2008-07-28T19:36:00.002Z

I know I should find this more disturbing and feel angry at the very existence of these people, but somehow I can’t quite get over the feeling of shock that people who think like this actually exist, and are allowed to continue to exist. Yesterday I found this (BBC News: NZ Judge Orders ‘Odd’ Name Change) and I can’t get over the fact that (a) there are actually people who would name their child “Talula Does The Hula In Hawaii” (no I’m not kidding, this was her full name) and (b) that they are allowed to keep their child once they have expressed their intent to do so.

Now I know that many of you who read this will know that I piss around and make stupid claims about what I’m planning to name our children in the future, but you all know me well enough to know I’m not actually going to go through with any of them as I wish that my children to neither hate me all their lives and get beaten up in every school they go to.

Talula Does The Hula In Hawaii (I can barely type that, let alone bestow in on someone as their name) was nine years old when this came up in a custody hearing. That means she’s been in school for 4 years. We all know what attitude children would take to a girl in their midst with a name like that, so it’s no surprise she refused to call herself anything other than “K”. And if you look at the list of names that were allowed, somewhere in New Zealand is little ”Number 16 Bus Shelter” getting beaten up in the playground, the twins “Benson” and “Hedge” waiting desperately until their eighteenth birthday so they can change it, and you can only hope that dear “Midnight Chardonnay” turns out to be a life long Goth as that’s the only way that name is going to fit.

Honestly, is it only me you thinks that wanting to name your child something like “Keenan Got Lucky” is a sign that you want a fashion accessory/toy not a child, and the child should be put into care until you’ve taken a vast number of parenting classes? Anyone?

Injections Of Bland...

2008-07-17T21:00:00.002Z

I've just had to watch the joy that is the bland, listless, bilge that is a Barry Manilow concert (it’s a work thing) and normally where the most painful thing about this would be the music itself, but, as I watched, I was more struck at the true terror that can only be created by someone singing along to all these emotional songs, trying desperately to convey energy and excitement all the while staring blankly ahead, unable to form any expression whatsoever on his face. How much botox has that man had pumped into his face?!

Either that or the years of creating and performing bland, pointless "music" has taken it's toll, so that all impression and excitement has slowly been eroded from his very soul.

Some Empirical Evidence...

2008-07-13T16:53:00.004Z

After going shopping down Pitshanger Lane yesterday and comparing what I had bought to things we'd purchased during the week from the supermarkets on the way home from work. Below is a photo of the foodstuff in question; lemons. On the left is an average lemon from the green grocer around the corner, and the one on the right is the average lemon from the supermarket.

As you can see that the supermarkets sell lemons that are half the size, and at the same price if not more. Yesterday at the grocer I bought all the fruit and vegetable we'll need for the next week; all for under £8. Find me a supermarket where I can get that value and I'll be impressed.

Now supermarkets are not wholly bad. The fact that they are open early and late make them a necessary in the modern lifestyle, especially for those individuals and families that work throughout the week and don’t have the time to shop during the day, but whenever I can I avoid them, for as you can see what you make up in convenience you definitely loose in quality and price. (Isn’t it funny how food is becoming more and more expensive, yet the actual producers are steadily getting paid less and less. Aren’t shareholders wonderful things.)

It's All In A Name...

2008-06-29T15:48:00.002Z

So, as you can see from my previous post, last week Frankie and I were at my sister Rebecca’s wedding. My big sister is no longer a Brand, but a Hawtin, and this feels quite strange. Whereas in actual fact nothing as really changed other than her name; she lives in the same place, with the same guy, etc, in my head it’s a big change.

Growing up in my family there was always the five of us, and in my mind this forms the core of my childhood, myself, my parents and my two sisters. The first big change in this situation was when my big sister went off to university. For the first time there was a different number of people living at home than there always had been, but even then she come back home every three months for the holidays, and once she graduated she moved straight back in.

Then I left for London and university, which was a massive change for me, but when I came home for the holidays everything was the same, I was back in the house I’d grown up in with my family. This sort of grounded me in a way, knowing however far I’d relocated, wherever university and life thereafter took me, all I had to do was jump on a train for a couple hours and be back in a little slice of my childhood. Even when Rebecca moved in with her now husband she’d always come over whenever I visit home so she’s still there, even if she leaves at the end of the evening.

And while this isn’t really any different now, the fact that she is married, that she has a different name, gives the connotations that the family of my childhood is gone, replaced by the family of my adult life. Thinking of things as a family tree, part of mine has merged with part of another. Soon she’ll have children of her own (I give them 2 years) and I’ll have moved from being ‘brother’ and ‘son’ when I’m with my family, to ‘brother-in-law’ and ‘uncle’ as well. I’m a grown up. I’m no longer revisiting the scenes of my childhood and memories of a simpler, more innocent time of my life, but visiting my family. This is even more evident since my younger sister started university so I can go home now and actually not see someone I’m used to seeing there.

Again, this is all words in my head. Nothing solid has changed in my life by this, just the way I think about things. It’s simply making me think in a different way, to realise how things are changing and how I’m growing up. But it’s the words in our heads that define us and how we think about ourselves, so an event or realisation that changes these words suddenly can affect us so much.

Looking back on it now I realise that throughout university how much I needed to be able to visit my childhood like that. While I was getting settled in the city and finding my way and responsibilities in the grown up world, I was always able to drop back to a less complex time for a break. Now I don’t have that; it will never be just the five of us, as I will always have Frankie with me, and Rebecca will always have James. Frankie always tells me off for being mean to my sisters, and poking fun at them when we’re visiting, but I think that is just part of this whole idea, that by retaining my jokey, childish attitude with the two girls I grew up with I’m reconnecting to that part of my life. Forgetting for a while that I’m now a grown up with responsibilities and culpabilities.

And then in just over a year it’ll be my turn, and then what will it feel like?

Congratualtions Bex and James

2008-06-22T16:45:00.004Z

Congratualations to Mr. and Mrs. James and Rebecca Hawtin

Married 21st June, 2008

(Apparently even though she's not a Brand she still counts as my sister.)

They Must Have One Hell Of A Manager...

2008-06-19T19:21:00.001Z

What the hell is it with the band Coldplay? It’s not that they’re a bad band, but they’re not exactly amazing. They are nowhere near the level of some of the bands out there but a lot better than a fair few of them.

So how the hell does their latest album get so much media attention. It’s been all over the radio, the BBC. It might just be a string of coincidences, but I just keep seeing and hearing all this free press publicity going on and on about how momentous the release of Coldplay’s latest groundbreaking album. Virgin Radio dedicated an entire afternoon to interviews and “World Exclusive” airplay of the new songs. And it was then that I was forced to listen to exactly how run of the mill it all was.

I don’t begrudge them their success, I’d much prefer them to many of the non-entities who attempt to launch music careers based on no talent and the ability to lap dance on a music video. It’s just galling because there are so many great bands out there that will never make it, and then there are the few that get picked out by the media and handed massive success on a level their talent and ability just can’t justify.

They Just Don't Stop...

2008-06-10T19:26:00.004Z

Frankie and I spent this weekend babysitting our nieces. As cute and lovely as they are, dear lord it tires you out. I don’t know exactly why, as one had hurt her leg and wasn’t running anywhere and the other is barely nine months, but Frankie and I both came home exhausted. I think it’s just the whole concept of paying attention all the time. It didn’t help that with the heat I found it much harder to get to sleep, and was just glad Emma had got home before the girls started waking each other up.

Whenever I talk to our friends who are new parents (of whom there seems to be a disconcertingly large number these days) they all say how exhausted they are, and it makes me wonder why after thirteen or so years of the my parents keep complaining once I didn’t (a) need or (b) want them to be around them. I would have thought of it as a goal for them to reach the point where their children could look after themselves.

But how can you say no when they’re this cute?

See Tom Run...

2008-06-03T19:21:00.003Z

I have now bought the new running shoes, I have organised my life enough that I have some free time in my evenings and I live in a area full of trees and a park rather than the A426. I have no real excuses left. I went running.

Not exactly far, or for long, but I’ve been more and more restless lately and thinking about it seems to me that my incredibly sedentary lifestyle cannot be doing very much to counteract this. The only real exercise I get is a LRP events which is what? Five or so weekends a year? So I’ve finally gotten off my fat arse and got jogging.

I was actually quite pleased with how fit I was. At least enough not to be totally depressed about how unfit I am. I managed to jog around to Scotch Common and back, about a ten minute run, only stopping once half way through, and though sweaty and realising exactly how loud my lungs are when they get used to extremes, I wasn’t actually dying or on the verge of total physical collapse.

Now I just need to keep going and not wuss out, and remember the wonderful feeling you get after you’ve finished exercising and had time to get your breath back.

Zephyr Laiden LRPers...

2008-05-28T19:28:00.001Z

Oh God! The wind. The wind! It cuts through me like the gossamer swords of a thousand ghostly soldiers!

Or some such rubbish. The GEF was good this year, and it’s a mark of exactly how good that it was great fun with a lot to do despite the not so clement weather we were forced to endure. We didn’t exactly get the doom laiden clouds of thunderous death that the BBC website was forecasting for us, but it wasn’t really camping weather, with people telling us that their tents had ripped open in the wind before we’d even arrived. But it didn’t really get above biting winds alternating with soggy drizzle, and on Saturday it actually got quite nice. Enough to get sun/wind burn on my nose, anyway.

It was an odd event really. I never really felt I was getting to do much, yet never felt I wasn’t doing anything. I actually found reasons to go off on my own to find people to interact with and ended up chatting to quite a few new people and getting some decent roleplay out of it. As bizarre as it sounds it was a nice change. Bizarre as in you wouldn’t think that would be a change at a live roleplay event, but up to now I feel I’ve had other people to kick things off, and now my character is developed enough for me to go off and initiate things.

So now overall I’m really looking forward to the Moot. Due to my sister being very inconsiderate with her wedding scheduling I’m missing the one with the rest of the Faction, so I guess this whole finding new people to play with will carry on.

Now I’m just hoping that the weather gets better by the end of June.

Tropical Pitshanger...

2008-05-18T17:32:00.003Z

There are currently parrets flying in and out of the tree outside our living room window. How cool is that?

I'll try to get some photos when the decide to perch on a branch that isn't completely hidden.

Moving Along...

2008-05-15T19:19:00.001Z

So, long time no update. That sort of thing happens the busier I get, and we’ve had a few things to deal with recently.

Firstly, and the main reason for the lack of updating is the fact Frankie and I have moved flat, and had to go through the inevitable BT faffing around with our broadband. As in despite ringing me to confirm that our phone and internet would be connected by 8pm the Thursday after we moved in, if not before, then when I rang them up at 8:30pm on the Thursday after we moved in to find our why it wasn’t connected to eventually (after the first woman from Bombay hung up on me and the second one couldn’t seem to understand the idea that I was calling from my own flat) to find out they had the reconnection scheduled for the next day. Why the hell ring me to tell me something they knew for a fact was wrong?

But apart from that we have big new flat, and we love it. It’s been almost a fortnight now and I’m still getting used to this whole having-space-to-move-about-in-and-put-stuff concept that we just didn’t have in our last flat/shoebox. All we have to do is acquire on more shelving unit to put all of our DVDs on and we’ll have finished our unpacking. And I’m hoping to get that done this weekend, to avoid the otherwise inevitable living out of the boxes for about six months.

And on top of that, we’ve had wedding details to sort out. We now have a venue, a date, the best man, the maid-of-honour, the bridesmaids and the flower girl confirmed. Considering we’ve got a year and half still to go I’m quite happy with our progress so far.

Mary Pickford Won't Stop Eating Roses...

2008-04-21T20:23:00.003Z

I’ve never been a big fan of Katie Melua. I think it was her first single that gave me a bad impression, The Closest Thing To Crazy, in which it sounded far more likely that she was half-goat rather than half-Georgian. Since then, during my work I’ve sat through a few of her music videos and a TV concert, and while the rest of her work has never annoyed me as much as that first single, I’ve never really seen her as anything spectacular. Not nearly as bad as a lot of stuff out their, but nothing to go out and buy an album for.

Then this month we had in the video for her single Mary Pickford (Used To Eat Roses), a light-hearted song about the four original founders of United Artists Film Studios, and I can’t get the damn thing out of my head! It’s one of those songs that just gets lodged in your mind, and I’ve had the whole thing going over and over for the last two days!

I am now undergoing the only way I know to get out of this cycle; I have bought the single off iTunes and am listening to it on a loop so that I get so bored of it my brain cuts it off just to give me a break. It seems to be slowly working. If this doesn't work I need more ideas on how to remove dug in music.

Huzah For Web Comics In Print...

2008-04-17T20:31:00.003Z

My Ctrl-Alt-Del book has arrived! Not only that, but my limited edition hardcover. Number 352 of 500, complete with certificate of authenticity.

I like buying trades for web-comics I read. The joy of web-comics has always been the fact they are free and all of the back story is there online so you don’t have to worry about not knowing what’s going on, you just have to click of the ‘First Strip’ button. But you have to feel a little guilty about getting all these great comics for free. I know they get money through advertising and merchandising, but I’ve never known exactly how they make it a full time profession without the publication royalties coming in. Especially as I know someone in the comics business, and getting to read his Blog and his column (He's Only A Writer) allows me more frequent reminders of the financial instability of the freelance writer.

So I like to buy all the trades when they come out, both to feel I’m actually paying for what I’m getting, and also because it’s so much easier to remember back story elements when you get to read the strips all in one go. Reading one strip a day is great for one off jokes, but long running storylines are much harder to read when you have to keep scrolling down the screen to read and the wait for the page to load each time. Broadband may be fast, but there is still some delay which is off putting when you’re reading.

So I’m building up my collection. And while I’m waiting, I’ll continue to get free comics everyday thanks to Greg Dean, Scott Kurtz, Tim Buckley, Rich Burlow and all the other artists and writers out there keeping us entertained.

RIP Charlton Heston

2008-04-06T19:17:00.002Z

Now I do respect him as an actor, and he’s been in some very good films and I’m sure he was a good person, but is it bad that when I read this (BBC News: Ben-Hur Star Charlton Heston Dies) the first thing I thought was “great, one less high profile idiot actively campaign for the rights of inbred rednecks to own their own assault rifles”?

It just that all the good works and brilliant films his stared in are, for me, overshadowed by the fact that he was president of the NRA; the figurehead organisation for the biggest mistake in interpretation of the United States Constitution there is.

Of Comic Books and Coppers...

2008-04-03T19:16:00.001Z

Excellent. The Ctrl-Alt-Del web comic has reprinted Volume 1 of the printed collections. I’ve been wanting to start collecting the printed version for ages but by the time I looked it was out of print and I didn’t want to buy Volumes 2 and 3 without getting the first one. But now it isn’t. And as a plus there is a limited edition of hardback copies, so I’ve managed to get myself one of those. Now to wait for them to do the same for Volume 2.

In weirder opinions, apparently one of Frankie’s workmates, whom I met recently for the first time, thinks I look like Gene Hunt. Now I don’t see it myself, but who the hell is going to argue with that comparison.

Sunday, Productive Sunday...

2008-03-30T14:11:00.001Z

I finally once more feel that I’m organised and that I know where things are. As much as it’s nice house-sitting, with the access to a decent sized kitchen and a kitty that it entails, it always throws me completely out of whack not having my calendar or computer or being able to check bills and post as they come in. I’m one of those people who needs to know I’m on top of things.

But today Frankie’s at her rehearsals so I’ve been at home getting things sorted and tidied for both potential flat viewings and for when we come back properly this week. I’ve gone through all the letters and bills that have built up on my desk, got all our finances for the month sorted out (Well almost. I mysteriously have more money in one account I can’t account for, and am now very nervous in case it’s the bait for some sort of trap!) This also lead to me reorganising the folders with all our bank and tax details in, so now I know everything is all in order. This in turn lead to a mammoth paper shredding session because I’m not going to make it easy for those damn identity thieves who slink through the night time London streets, pawing through your bins and reconstructing perfect clones from the papers deposited therein.

Or so I’ve been told.

This has then in turn got me into the whole mindset of exactly what we will not need to take over to the new flat; piles of magazines I really don’t need to keep such a complete library of, old items no longer needed, a chair that really needs replacing as just sitting in it is enough to do your back in. I now find myself walking around the flat working out what we need to do before we move so it doesn’t end up causing extra work to do on the actual day that we could have been dealt with weeks before to save hassle.

And yes this does mean we have found out next flat. Hopefully. Because we’ve picked it and put down holding deposits, but now begins the fun that is references, meetings and the gathering together of full deposits. Luckily the estate agent who found us the place is one of those that only requires 4 weeks deposit, not 6, so it’s slightly easier.

More details will follow once things are finalised. For the best laid plans of mice and men, often go down the crapper ‘cos life’s a bitch! (I believe the saying goes something like that, but I may be paraphrasing ever so slightly.)

Dragons Easter Event 2008...

2008-03-26T20:09:00.001Z

In my world the Easter weekend means one thing, the Dragons Faction five day Campaign Event. (To those of you who find more often than not that the words I put up here are total gibberish, this means a Live Roleplay event that lasts from the Thurday until the Monday.)

So that means camping. Sleeping in a tent and braving whatever the weather throws at us for the days over Easter. Which is fine, unless the powers that be (I’m reliably informed it’s the moon that makes these decisions) decided that this year Easter was going to be several months early and consist of weather conditions that can only be described as “crazy”.

The first night, after the drive up lasting longer than planned and trying to put tents up in the dark, we barely slept a wink due to the wind, both the noise that it created and the fear that the next big gust of wind was going to rip the tent up leaving only our bodies inside to prevent the whole thing floating away in the rain. The second night was better only because the previous day I had secured the tent using logs found around the campsite. The second two nights we woke up needed to knock the snow off the tent flap before we could get up. And between each night was had just about all the other forms of weather there are. Except fog. We didn’t have any fog.

But it was a great event. I was marshalling most of it rather than playing or just monstering (If you don’t know what all this terminology means then don’t worry, it’s too complicated to explain now. Ask me later.) It’s fun to help the people running the actual events; it makes you feel slightly less guilty when you go to events and don’t do anything to help out.

But five days. Five. This makes you extremely tired. The weird thing is though through the whole thing there are so many times where you feel cold and wet and you just stand there wondering why the hell you do this, why you’ve spent money to stand there in a field, cold and wet and miserable, when you could be warm, comfortable and slightly richer. But the moment it’s all over, you just can’t wait until you get to go back.

In short, now I have had two nights in a real bed and several hot showers, I want to go LRPing again.

There should be some photos going up on fotopic soon, but somehow our camera ended up going home with a mate of ours, so we won't be getting it back until the weekend.

Open Plans...

2008-03-18T20:23:00.001Z

Frankie and I are currently house hunting. We have until the end of May to find a new place, but what with LRP events, wedding venue hunting and Frankie being involved with the latest Purple show we’re looking early to get things rolling. We’ve seen a couple of good places, but none of them particularly amazing yet.

The one thing I can’t understand is why so many builders/architects/home converters/whoever actually plans flats, when deciding on the layout of a flat to decide to put the kitchen as far away from the living room as possible. Why? For me cooking is one of the most time consuming things I do and as I only like cooking meals from scratch I don’t see much likelihood of that changing. I enjoy cooking, I spend time cooking and while I’m doing this I do not want to be totally cut off from the living room, where any social interaction is most likely to be going on.

I mean, when the kitchen living room and the kitchen are next to each other so you feel like you’re in another room, but the one we saw today had the kitchen at the other end of the flat. It couldn’t have been any further away without being in a different flat. I just don’t see the point.

Cooking and eating are social activities, so I’d like an open plan kitchen please.

Portion Lies...

2008-03-15T18:45:00.003Z

You know, so many pubs and restaraunts offer an "All Day" Breakfast as part of their menus.

Thinking about, I don't think I've ever had one where the portion delivered has in fact taken all day to eat.

I feel there is a false advertising campaign going on here.

An Introspective Ramble On Parents...

2008-03-06T20:24:00.001Z

I’ve been thinking a lot about parents and how you relate to them throughout your life recently, for various reasons. Thinking about it when you’re a child your parents are the ultimate source of knowledge, succour and authority. They provide you with food, clothing and education without you even being able to understand that you don’t yet have these things. You accept them as being the final answer and authority on all things. Your trust for them is total.

And then as you get older you begin to become your own person. You may have tantrums and want to do your own thing, but through all that you still recognise that the final authority comes down to them and them alone. You start to recognise the web of relationships that tie your family together, how relatives, aunts, uncles, cousins, all work in relation to you. You also answer to these relatives when left in their care, but that’s only because, as a child, deep down in your soul you believe that they too answer ultimately to your parents.

And Grandparents? Well, while this relationship of power exists between your parents and you, your Grandparents have all that same power over your parents. Imagine how scary that makes them to a child once they make that connection.

And then as you get older you begin to recognise more and more human traits in them. As you learn to see all the things they’ve done for you, they in turn begin to slowly treat you more as an equal. (Though it may not seem like it at the time). As you begin to do for yourself all those things that once they didn’t for you without you even realising your relationship changes, and they slowly become less authority figures and more human.

In some ways it’s frightening to lose these figures of absolute certainty in our lives to the status of mere mortals, but in others comforting to see how similar these once eternal figures of power are to ourselves, so that we can recognise that because they could be those figures we can, so can we when our time comes.

Various things make me think about these things. One is watching our niece and seeing how she interacts with her family and seeing childhood again but from the other side. The other was this week at my Grandpa’s funeral this week at one point my father, my uncle and aunt were all sitting with my Grandma, and for the first time in my life I saw something different. I didn’t see my father, aunt, uncle and grandmother, sitting together at a family gathering; I saw two brothers and their little sister sitting with their mother, looking slightly lost that this whole relationship had been broken by the one fact that no child can ever truly understand or accept. The truth that our parents are merely human, like the rest of us.

A little introspective, I know, but there you go.

A Very Dramatic Showdown...

2008-02-28T20:41:00.004Z

I am having a debate. Not just me of course, as a one sided debate tends to be pointless, and the ones I have had recently have gone on far too long, so I’m having this one with Frankie.

There are two short clips on YouTube we are aware of; The Dramatic Chipmunk and The Dramatic Lemur. Both are, in my opinion, unexplainably hilarious. I just love them. Each time I watch them I just crack up, and I could probably watch them on a loop for hours on end just laughing my head off.

However, while she appreciates them in her own way, the delectable Francesca believes that Dramatic Chipmunk is rubbish. I cannot fathom how anyone couldn’t find it hilarious. (In fact in certain moods and on a good day I could well be found to describe it as the crowning achievement of the entire internet.)

So I’m calling upon your humble opinions; is Dramatic Chipmunk brilliant or plain pointless. And which is better; the Chipmunk or the Lemur? (Unfortunately for the Harry Hill fans out there I can’t make them fight to decide the answer!)

First wonder of The Dramatic Chipmunk!

Followed by the bizarre glory of The Dramatic Lemur

Which is better? (If any?) You decide.

My Weekend Off...

2008-02-24T14:44:00.001Z

Well that was one of the longest weeks I’ve had in a very long time. What with everything that’s been happening with my family, and then work just seeming to consist of one thing after another after another after another, I really needed this weekend just to switch off.

Yesterday Frankie and I went and viewed the first prospective location for the wedding with her mother. It was a really great looking place in Richmond Park, and it’s definitely on the list of favourites, but then as it’s the only one we’ve seen so far it’s not exactly an exhaustive list. Frankie’s parents are away all next month, so I’ve got to organised a few more viewings for April so we can come to a decision and get the location booked by May.

It’s also reached the first stage where I expressed my opinion of something to have both the future Bride and the future Mother-Of-The-Bride turn around and tell be to be quiet, I’m merely the Groom and needed to shut up and let them decide things. I suppose I’d better get used to that. I do, however, hold on to my veto of any and all aspects they decide on.

It feels weird actually looking a places and making decisions (or at least watching people make the decisions) for the wedding. We’ve been engaged for a year now and now things are actually beginning to happen. We’ve got our draft invitation list done, we’ve begun to pick the location, and once that’s decided then it’s all going to start building up; we’ll have a date and the days I’ll still be unmarried will be officially numbered. It’s a weird feeling. Then we’ll have to start booking entertainment, food, flowers, dresses, suits and everything. This time next year’s going to be interesting.

Rehearsals for the next Purple Theatre Company show begin today (Daisy Pulls It Off, 7th to 10th May 2008. Book your tickets now!) and as Frankie’s involved and I’m not I once more have my Sundays to get things done.

At least that’s the plan. You see this week I randomly found myself reading an interview with Sid Meier, the creator the classic Civilisation franchise. This got me thinking of all the many hours I used to spend playing Civ II whilst I was at university. So, this morning I decided to load it up again and have a short trip down memory lane before getting on with things.

I did not, however, remember exactly how incredibly bloody addictive this game was. I put it on at about 10am planning to play for an hour to so. I finally look up and the clock at 1pm! I fully believe that there is some sort of subliminal imagery built into the Civilisation games that shuts down the part of the brain that regulates your perception of time.

But anyway, so far this weekend has been exactly what I’ve needed. Hopefully next week won’t seem about 15 days long.

RIP: Grandpa

2008-02-20T21:03:00.002Z

I’ve been informed this evening that my Grandpa passed away this afternoon aged 85. He leaves behind him a wife, three children, nine grandchildren and one great-grandchild. All in all I’d say that was a very successful life really.

Ronald Hughes Brand

16th June 1922 – 20th February 2008

Note To Self...

2008-02-05T19:32:00.002Z

In future do not buy red mouthwash. It is indefinably disturbing than spitting into the sink and seeing blood red liquid pour out of your month.

One More Reason Why The Daily Mail Is Shit...

2008-01-27T19:19:00.001Z

As if we really need any more excuses as to why this “newspaper” is nothing more than a reactionist scaremongering hack-rag, today was I was looking through the various headlines and I saw this gem: “Brown banishes 300-year-old tradition by removing Britannia from our 50p coin”.

My opinion of this tabloid was fully vindicated by the great line in their argument about this symbol of Britain by describing it as “The patriotic symbol – based on a Roman goddess…” They then, within two paragraphs of each other, say that the first time Britannia could be seen on a coin was during the time of the Roman Emperor Hadrian, then that it was during the reign of Charles II the first. Great writing guys.

So Gordon Brown is undermining “Britishness” by temporarily removing a Roman image from a coin? For God’s sake could they even try to find a decent story to run?

RIP: Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T20:46:00.001Z

It’s a real shame to wake up this morning to hear on the radio that Heath Ledger was found dead yesterday in his apartment. As of the time of writing they still haven’t determined exactly how he died, but considering factors such as the prescription pills found near his body and the fact that his relationship with the mother of his child broke down late last year make it seem clear he meant to take what killed him, even if he didn’t mean to actually kill himself.

Ledger was always weird in my mind, whenever I thought of him I immediately used to think of him being connected with bad teen movies, such as 10 Things I Hate About You and Home and Away, but he was rapidly becoming one of the best and most varied actors out there. A friend of mine today described him as the next Johnny Depp, and I feel he could have been. With roles in films like Brokeback Mountain, The Brothers Grimm and, what had got me really excited, playing the Joker in the upcoming The Dark Knight.

My thoughts are with his family, especially his two year old daughter who will never know her father.

Heath Ledger

4th April 1979 – 22nd January 2008

The History Of The Internet...

2008-01-15T19:33:00.001Z

Once, way back in the mists of time, men and women came together to form a powerful force that could unite and control the world. After years of study and toil, they gradually began to succeed in their goal, and with it’s growing power these men and women, who have come to be known as the Creators, strove to unite the world; to gather information and teach it, to spread communication wide open across the world, to learn from one another. These visionaries worked separately and together, forming and weaving different elements and streams, weaving it together to form their perfect creation. To form… the Internet.

But each man and each woman, deep in their very soul, had different dreams and aspirations for this new creature; and as the world slowly accepted the internet, systematically allowing it to become absorbed into the very fabric of society until life without it was but a distant, unreal, memory and turning everybody in ‘Users’; the Creators gradually began to move away from each other to form groups with similar aims with themselves.

With the Internet itself finally a fully formed creature, capable of growing and sustaining itself, these group started to bend their creation to their own will, to form it into shapes and patterns based on their desires and ambitions. At first there was fear of all out war between the factions, but the Internet was now growing beyond anyone’s expectations it became clear there was more than enough space.

The Email Wizards were the earliest of all the Internet factions to form, and amongst their number are many of the original Creators. Their goal was simple; pure and instant communication connecting the whole world, so that knowledge could be shared on every level.

They are almost unique amongst the factions that followed in that they are truly neutral, they will give their services to any and all who seek them. They believe that the goal of joining all people together supersedes any other means or motives, and whatever the other Creators wished to do with their creation, none should be denied their magical ‘electronic mail’. Because of this philosophy you will see their work in almost all facets of the Internet.

Most of the Creators saw Internet mainly as a tool for gathering all the information into one place. They called themselves The Gatherers, and they began to develop the ways to allow the Users to upload their information.

The first of these formed what became The Council Of Live Journal. Also known as the Live Council, they sought to bring people together to voluntarily write down as much information as they could; about themselves, their interests, whatever they wished. The Council were a loose group at best, happy for people to aid information as and when they wished. They wished to discover what information was truly important to the world by allowing Users free rein over what they entered.

Over time many of the Council grew unhappy at these methods and began to advocate different plans for less than pure reasons. They wanted to force the Users to give them the information they wished to obtain; that the Creators themselves deemed were important. It eventually came to a head, and these splinter groups were expelled from the Council to find their own place in the Internet. To form it to their own needs as they wished.

As the Internet became symbiotic with society it began to mirror the world in unforeseen ways. One of these was a darkness that began to grow within, a darkness that bled into the fabric of the Internet from the society it was overtaking. The Live Council were not expecting this, and before the danger was fully recognised for what it was it had corrupted many of them. In their new forms they sought to tap this resource, this darkness, nourishing the dark emotions of the venerable and the teenaged and feeding off them, becoming vampires to their baser instincts. They became the MySpace Vampyres, drawing the more vulnerable into their lair and trapping them in a never-ending world of dark emotion, that has come to be known as ‘Emo’. Others sometimes travel to this place, but by now the force of all that concentrated Emo in one place means it is too strong for a User to stay there without becoming ensnared. Only one kind of ‘normal’ User has been found that can survive there now, musicians. There are differing theories as to why this is. Some believe that the inherent joy that comes from the creation of music makes the User immune to the Vampyres call, but other argue that the Vampyres actually use the music to feed the emotions that the live off, allowing the musicians into their lair unhindered for some kind of emotional cultivation. Either way, this area of the internet is dangerous for any unwary traveller.

The second corruption that occurred to the Live Council was that many members became aware of the power that lay in certain kinds of information. However most of the Users were either to intelligent at this time to give this kind of information away or just didn’t consider it important enough to upload without being actively encouraged. These members believed that the next stage in the Internet’s development was to come up with way to promote this encouragement and gain all the information they needed to gain all the power they needed. Once they were expelled from the Council they styled themselves as lords and created a place that took the original methodologies formed by the Council but twisted them for their own evil desires. They drew Users in and ensnared them; leading them, almost without realising, to deliver all their personal information into one singular collection, a great book, and then actually invite their own friends into the same trap that they themselves were now unwittingly ensnared in. They became known as The Lords Of The Faceless Book, or The Faceless Ones, seeking only to build up a depositary of knowledge so vast none could rival their power.

The Trade Barons came about saw a simpler way of using the internet to gain a different sort of power. With strong ties to the economic base of society, they came in on the creation of the internet in the later stages once they had seen it begin to infiltrate into the fabric of society with the goal of shaping it at this vital stage to serve their needs. They were unique in some way in that they didn’t so much do any creating of their own, more that they influenced some Creators to work their ideologies into the work they were already doing. This way, as the Internet was formed, it’s pattern was all ready for the integration of more and more sites designed for shopping. Now those concerned had not even to get Users to leave their homes to purchase their products. With the Internet at their fingertips they had merely to log on.

The Blog Sages were Creators who looked upon their creation, once completed, and were at a loss for what to do now their great task was completed. As the others gradually formed their separate groups, these few wondered throughout the internet, watching and sampling, observing all they could. Eventually they began to settle, one by one, and form places where anyone could come and view their findings. Findings and opinions that nobody else cared about. The other Creators mocked them, saying that they had no real purpose. Even the Live Council saw now use in what they collected. Yet over time they began to see the Sages, as they had taken to calling themselves, as a place to point all those who didn’t fit in. Slowly more and more people, full of ideas that no one else cared about, began to find all those who did care about the same random, almost pointless, facts. Placed away safely in the corners of the Internet this ever increasing number of Users could do no damage to the ever growing lifeform.

But throughout all this there was one Creator who did not follow the others. Some legends say he was one of the first and foremost of the Creators, perhaps the first, but what is known for sure was that he was one of the most learned, the most creative and one of the most influential in those earliest days. Many came to him seeking knowledge, and through this his methods and influence were part of the Internet’s very essence. And whilst the others began to develop their creation into it’s many different forms he walked amongst them, through the newly developed areas and those parts of the still growing Internet yet to be developed, forming them to his own, twisted will. Even the most well protected and secure areas of the Live Council, or even the Sages, were helpless to defend themselves from his machinations, as it was his knowledge that they had based their work on and he knew all their secrets and backdoors. His true name is long forgotten, for now he is only known as The Pornography Demon, or simply ‘The Fiend’, spreading his twisted viewpoint across the world.

And so the internet unfolded, forever developing and growing, and the Creators began their conquest of society. Be wary, oh traveller, if you choose to walk these paths, for even those who prepare themselves can find themselves in areas they had never planned, and fortune to plans and machinations that even I have no knowledge of. So tread carefully, if tread you must, and remember the tales of how the Internet was created, and the Machiavellian intent therein.

The Cost Of Lowering Pegs...

2008-01-08T20:03:00.001Z

Sometimes Jeremy Clarkson annoys me. Anyone with strong opinions is bound to annoy different people at different times, and I suppose that is a good thing. Different people have different opinions and everybody should be free to give those opinions. And sometimes Clarkson can be damn funny. But sometimes you just want him to shut up and stop being difficult. I guess it’s a case of funny when I agree with him, annoying when I don’t, and I suppose it’s his true petrolhead attitude to environmental issues that gets me the most.

So it really make me feel good when, after him dismissing the possible problems caused by the government losing so many millions of peoples personal data by saying that the information lost cannot be used in any way to steal money from people, I get to read this (BBC News: Clarkson stung after bank prank.)

Basically after declaring that even if somebody got hold of you account number, sort code, name and address they could not do anything but put money in to your account, he published his own details in his column in the Sun newspaper. The following month he opens his bank statement to find somebody had set up a direct debit from his account taking £500 from his account and donation it to a Diabetes charity. And, due to the Data Protection Act, he has no way of finding out who did it.

To be fair to him, he now openly admits he was totally wrong and HM Customs losing of the disks was, in fact, a big issue; but it still feels good to be able to laugh when someone is proved wrong so amusingly.

I've Had An Epiphany (According To The Calender Anyway)...

2008-01-06T19:58:00.001Z

Well that’s Christmas over once again. Luckily the sixth falls on a weekend this year so there’s no rush to get all the decorations and the tree down on the correct day. Everything is off the walls and ceiling and back in the box, though the box is yet to put away anywhere other than the living room floor, and the tree has been cut up and delivered to the recycling centre; placed in what is labelled “Green Waste” but from looking inside should be temporarily known as “The Vat O’ Used Christmas Trees”.

Christmas and New Year were nice and relaxed this year, which is surprising considering that this is the first year Frankie and I have spent together as a couple, visiting both sides of the family. The upside of which is I got two Christmases; the first with all Frankie’s family on Christmas Eve and the day itself, then spending Boxing Day with mine for a couple of days. It was really nice having such a big holiday this year though, as each year slowly Christmas has slowly become smaller and quieter, as it will tend to do as my siblings and I grow up and start forming our own lives outside the house, but now families are growing anew, and throwing together in-laws, nieces, grandparents and in-laws-to-be Christmas felt once more like a huge family event.

But the downside to the plan of sitting around doing as little as possible all holiday is that once you get into that mindset it’s hard to get out again. I’ve had a long mental list of things I’ve been needing to get done, or that I really should have been doing in my time off, but my brain wouldn’t let me. Twice I’ve sat down at my computer to try and get down some reviews of movies I’ve seen, each time just to stare at the screen for half an hour totally unable to write anything, and the same goes for this blog. Please note to all too brief entry on New Year.

So I’m hoping now with the decorations down and the flat tidied (it’s amazing how much bigger the flat looks now the tree is gone) I’ll actually get some work done and be a lot more productive than in recent weeks. I want to put some momentum back into the reviews section as I’ve hardly managed to put more than one or two entries in there a month, and hardly anything that isn’t a film. I also want to start putting more work into my roleplay system, the actually rules and campaign world as well as just the campaigns I’m running. I’ve also got a couple of other writing projects I really want to get started on this year. And as well as that this year we’ve got to sort out where we’re moving to after this flat, and we’ve got to get the ball moving on the wedding and have the venue sorted in the next couple of months.

So hopefully the New Year will allow me a new burst of energy and motivation, not to mention more free time to do all this in.

Happy New Year...

2008-01-01T20:22:00.001Z

Happy 2008 guys.

Adverbs & Pronouns...

2007-12-30T15:58:00.001Z

Looking at the BBC News website how vitamins can actually increase cholesterol (BBC News: Vitamins ‘Increase Cholesterol’) it made me think about the number of times we see news stories on how so many things are bad for you, and we get the traditional headline of “Too Much Product X can cause [insert disease of the month here]“ We’ve had too much red meat causing cancer, too much alcohol causing skin damage, to much chocolate causing heart disease. But of course these are interspersed by the medical studies which have found out that, gasp, having some alcohol can benefit your heart, the right amount of red meat in a diet can beneficial to your skin and having a small amount of chocolate can help lower your risk of stomach cancer.

I just want to save these news reporters some ink by pointing something out to them. If you look closely these two sides of the argument seem to balance each other out. Each individual type of food has good and bad properties, and the point is to eat in such a way that the good properties outweigh the bad. So maybe avocado may protect against liver damage, but eat too many and they could cause problem with the kidneys due to the massive amounts of potassium involved.

Basically you need to look at the definition of “too much”:

TOO – adv. To a higher degree than is desirable, permissible or possible.
MUCH – pron. A large amount.

So by definition ‘too much’ means far more of something than is desirable or even possible. Therefore it is not news to discover that having too much of something is bad for us. Please stop reporting it as such.

Merry Christmas...

2007-12-25T17:59:00.001Z

Merry Christmas to one and all!

Whatever holiday you choose to celebrate today, even if it's just sitting down with your family and relaxing with your day off work, here's hoping that it was everything it could be.

And if you're one of those people who doesn't enjoy the season out of principle, then you're a sad, lonely, souless person. Get out there and enjoy life!

(On a side note, appologies to anybody you recieve multiple copies of my tradition Christmas Day text message. I have now discovered that if you send a message to multiple recipiants and one of those numbers fails, my phone informs you that nobody recieved the message at all, leading to me recieving messages asking why I'd sent people the same text up to 5 times!)

Time For Christmass...

2007-12-23T21:50:00.001Z

Worked has finished, I’m off for the next week and a half, and I finally have the time and energy free to feel like it’s Christmas.

What with us only having two weeks at work in December to get all the work that we normally have a month I’ve been incredibly busy. But we managed it, just, and now I can relax. And it’s amazing how I’ve suddenly had all the seasonal cheer flood into me. I’ve got my Christmas shopping done nice and early, and the gifts are wrapped and under our tree waiting to be given out on Tuesday, and all I’ve had to do all weekend is lounge around the flat with Frankie, watching TV, playing computer games and baking men made from gingered-bread. I’ve even found myself humming Christmas carols under my breath when I went out to get my hair cut.

So tomorrow we’re off to Frankie’s parents to see one side of the family, then on Boxing day we’re off to see mine to complete the set. I think this is going to be the most family I’ve ever seen in one Christmas.

And two days to go…